Assorted Stuff

1. It’s one of those days where you look down and say “If I put on a long skirt, no one will know I didn’t shave my legs.”

2. The Butcher bought this soap that smells so good that I keep having dreams about it. The dreams, however, are not so great. They go basically like this: one of y’all (sometimes I recognize you; sometimes I don’t) shows up at the house and I give you a bath with the awesome soap and then I rub your feet. Then, some really hot chick in a red convertible comes to pick you up and you leave.

3. I’ve now read this article a couple times on single people and our lack of dating. There’s got to be a good post in there somehow, but I can’t make it happen. So, just read the article and pretend I had something intelligent to say about it.

4. My dad called me yesterday to have a “serious talk” about The Vagina Monologues. Apparently Kathy and Judy from WGN were raving about it and now my dad is all excited about my involvement. This may mark me as a Midwesterner for even asking, but Christ, is there anything WGN can’t fix? (Aside from a whole baseball season, of course.)

5. Also, I had this dream about the recalcitrant brother the other day. Well, it was more like a memory while sleeping, since this actually happened. I was young and, as always, he was younger. I was asleep in my lavender room and I got up to go to the bathroom and there in the bathroom was the recalcitrant brother. He was covered in blood, intentionally. He’d drawn lines and swirls all over himself. “Are you hurt?” I asked and he turned to me with this blank look on his face and reached out his fist and opened his hand and resting in the palm was a tooth.

6. After my behavior with Fritz yesterday, I’m contemplating starting a rumor that I drink a lot just to have an excuse for my bad behavior.

4 thoughts on “Assorted Stuff

  1. We shall have lunch again. I think Sharon Cobb wants to join us. I thought your rambling discussion of vaginas was funny. Disgusting, but funny.

  2. Re: # 6: At a golf outing last fall I learned how to fold a napkin to make a penis. Then I used another one to make the balls.

    Perhaps this would be more to Fritz’s liking. Maybe you could ask around. Contact a local ladies’ golf league; someone should know. Then all would be forgiven!

  3. Peg, if you do come down for Bonaroo, even if you only have a second, you must let me meet up with me and teach me to fold a napkin like that. I will be forever in your debt.

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