A Poem for David Boaz

No, I’m still not done with that fucking Libertarianism: A Primer. I’m sorry. It’s just slow going and parts of it are really boring. But today, finally, even though he blamed the War on Drugs on the Clintons*, he made a spectacular point about the intellectuals’ love of planning and devising programs.

In honor of Boaz’s brilliant point, I have composed this sonnet**.

“The Moral Equivalency of War” (or “America Works Best When All Americans are Working towards the Same Goals”)

“Let us meet about the meeting we’ll have
to set a time for us to meet again.”
“A regiment does you well. Feel my calf.
A war on fat is the way to go. Pain

reminds us we’re alive and sacrifice
is good for the soul. Let’s create a task-
force to look into a diet of rice.
We’ll promote it on TV. If we ask

For the time. They’ll give us advertising
space because we know what’s good for us all.”
You can almost hear their joy in rising
to the challenge of being on the ball.

It must be nice to be so sure that you
know better what’s best for me than I do.

Hmm. That doesn’t suck half as bad as it might have. Anyway, for my own reasons, I’m digging on the libertarians propensity to knock the wind out of the sails of well-meaning planners and program-implementers. So, thanks for that, mostly-wrong-headed right-wing gun-nuts.

*Because, lord knows the right wing cannot miss an opportunity for Clinton bashing. I would not be surprised to find that hearing or reading the word “Clinton” triggered for them the same feeling that a good nipple pinch does for the rest of us. You don’t want it to happen out of the blue, but under the right circumstances, it is a lovely decadent ouch.
**Actually, I have not yet composed the sonnet. I’m concerned I won’t actually be able to write a whole sonnet devoted to libertarianism, but now I have a goal. If it goes poorly, I’ll just go back and change the word “sonnet” to “poem” and you will never be the wiser. Anyway, on with the composition…

The Underpants

I just got back from The Underpants, which is a delightfully funny Steve Martin play they’re putting on over at the Darkhorse Theatre.

I’m headed to bed, because I have to be at work first thing in the morning if I’m not iced in or I’d tell you more about it. But, if you’re in Nashville and you’re looking for something to do this weekend, you should check it out.

It’s not quite a play about cooters, but it is a play about underpants, which is very close.