Okay, so asking me to be in The Vagina Monologues is apparently the equivalent of asking a garlic farmer to host a party for vampires.
That doesn’t mean there isn’t a bright side.
1. The Butcher doesn’t know that Miss J. isn’t coming, and so he’s at home cleaning as we speak.
2. I bought the most awesome necklaces for the show to wear in a big pile, but I’ve been having fun wearing them all week.
3. And at least now I know that, if any of you are stalking me, you’re the shittiest stalkers in the world.