Please, don’t read too much into this. I know it’s a widely-held belief–propagated by porn–that removing all one’s hair makes one look bigger. I have tried very hard to get used to this.
But, boys, it’s now my studied opinion that y’all hairless are about the funniest looking things ever.
So, here’s the request: if you’re going to take your pants off around me, and you have groomed yourself bare, please don’t be pissed if I struggle not to laugh. Lord knows I’m not going to turn you down. I’m just saying, you don’t really need to go to that effort for me.