Republicans, Here, Let Me Help

I said I wasn’t going to snark about Marsha Blackburn, but then I went and reread Bill Hobbs’s post and I realize, if I don’t help these misguided conservatives, who’s going to?

Marsha Blackburn is over in Memphis for the Republican Party Prom and, while in Memphis, says:

We Tennesseans really are a bunch of God-fearing, freedom loving, flag-waving, guitar-picking, country music-singing, NASCAR fans and we believe that if 10% is good enough for God, then it is for damn sure good enough for the government.

I mention that she’s giving this speech in Memphis just to drive home the funny.

I’ve just got to ask, Blackburn, how many guitar-picking, country music-singing, NASCAR fans are you running into in Memphis? Or are the people of Memphis not really Tennesseans?

I swear to god, the Republicans could not be any more tone deaf about race relations if they tried.

So, folks, I’m going to let you in on a little secret–one that keeps the Democracts up at night.

Most black people are not like you see in music videos. They are not all violent thugs or scantily clad women with nothing better to do all day than lay around smoking pot, having sex, and defrauding various welfare programs.

Many black people, especially church-going black people are very socially conservative. Shoot, one only has to attend a couple of predominately black churches to see that there’s a receptive audience in the black community for faith-based initiatives, anti-gay-marriage legislation, and other stupid Republican party talking points.

And yet, here’s Blackburn in a Tennessee city with a large black population talking about how all Tennesseans really are stereotypical rednecks.

Look, Republicans, even in spite of your racist ways, you get black people like Rice and Powell to take your side. That’s how desperate conservative black people are to flee the Democratic party. Think of how many votes y’all would pick up if you stopped being such exclusionary assholes.

And now, Bill Hobbs, I must ask a question of you. When you say, “The rumor that she’s not a regular reader of Tennessee Guerilla Women appears to be true.” clearly your insinuation is that Blackburn isn’t one of “those feminists.” And, I think the Tennessean is attempting to make a similar point when it says, “the Brentwood congressman — she prefers that rather than the title congresswoman.” Has it escaped your notice that she’s serving in Congress? How do you think that happened?

Do you think we were all just sitting at home raising our kids and tending the households when, in 1919, all the men in the country suddenly burst into their kitchens and said, “Darling, it’s much to hard to run the country without you. Come, vote. Hold public office. Become leaders even in the most conservative circles” and we were all like, “No, I mustn’t. It just wouldn’t be proper.” and you said, “I must, as your husband, insist that you take a larger role in the governing of this great country.” and we said, “Well, dear husband, if you insist, of course I will do as you ask.”?

How do you get to rewrite history in such a way that HOLDING A CONGRESSIONAL SEAT AND BEING HELD UP AS ONE OF THE FUTURE REPUBLICAN POWER PLAYERS somehow has nothing to do with feminism?

I just don’t get it.

7 thoughts on “Republicans, Here, Let Me Help

  1. Blackburn in an asshat. Remember when we found out she had paid a buttload of money to her son-in-law’s firm with pac money, or took contributors shopping?
    She is not, and I repeat this with an adamant snort of denial, representing me.

  2. I’m sorry. I just love, too, how someone from Brentwood has the audacity to be all like “I’m just a normal Tennessean.”


    Because normal Tennesseans don’t live in Brentwood, despite the citizens of Brentwood’s belief that the universe revolves around them.

  3. Amen to that, paps. I’m sure every Tennessean has a mile-long paved driveway and eats lobster bistec for supper every night.

  4. So Bill Hobbs is still blogging? Gee, I thought he retired a couple of times at least. Oh well, glad to hear he is one of my regular readers.

  5. For a minute I thought Bill’s post about Blackburn was a sick joke. Some sort of satire.

    Obviously this congressman is sorely out of touch.

  6. Slightly off topic, but considering how close y’all are to the Delta and the river and how you’re one of the few places where it’s been known to rain frogs and snakes, have you considered changing your name to Memphibians?

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