“Doing that doesn’t make one ‘happy,’ necessarily, but it’s how I want to live, anyway.”–Miss J
“Firstly, I’m just trying to hear this in my head as a polka, which might make it better, because then at least you could kick up your heels to it.”–Peg
“Keep in mind, I have produced a fully functioning human in less time.”–Heather
“First of all, I think anybody who, without sufficient forewarning, hears Mr. Spears rap should be eligible to join a class-action.”–Lee
“Rivers are dynamic and very active in this type of environment and they tend toward shallow, wide, and winding while humans prefer them deep, narrow, and straight. That’s the eternal battle between the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers and essentially every river in the country ever used for navigation (see also west Tennessee).”–W.*
“Take a writing class, Strawberry Shortcake book writer! Or get a better editor!!”–the Nashville Knucklehead**
*Can I just say that, if there was a personalized phone sex line just for me, I would call up and there would be W. talking about the Mississippi River? He’d just go on about the nature of rivers and how we get across them and I’d listen quietly while I absent-mindedly stroked my boob freckle. Is that wrong?
Also, W. has finally fixed his comments so go over there and leave him dirty messages about water.
**Just as I firmly believe that every straight grown woman should have a clone of our wrong-headed, but eminently charming, Wayward Boy Scout, I also firmly believe that every little girl should have a Knucklehead clone in her life. My lesbian and bisexual friends, I would give you Shug, who is cute and sweet and will let you drive her truck. And, if she had some clones, they could all build me a house; she’s very handy like that.
Get on it, Science! Womankind needs you!