I occasionally have kitchen mishaps. And I know Sarcastro appreciates funny things, so when I do something–like set myself on fire–I like to give him a call and share the humor with him.
Today, I was attempting to get a plate out of the cabinet and some stuff fell out, thus causing the stuff on the counter to go everywhere, thus causing a knife to stab me in the foot and beer to spill all over the wound.
The beer seemed to me to be an fortuitous disinfectant and it wasn’t a serious stabbing. Which, in retrospect, I should have immediately made clear when Sarcastro picked up the phone. But I knew I wasn’t even bleeding any more, so I immediately jumped into the Rube Goldbergian scenario that resulted in said stabbing.
Meanwhile, he’s all–do you have some hydrogen peroxide? Is your foot elevated? Is the blood flowing steady or in spurts? When was the last time you had a tetanus shot? Do you know where your insurance card is?
I mean, folks, he went from "Hello" to field surgeon like that.
It was pretty amazing to witness. And then I felt kind of bad, because I was calling to chat about the stupid thing that happened to me and he was plotting the quickest way to my house and then to the hospital. But, in the end, it was really funny, so I’m sharing it with you.
Tiny Cat Pants 
I’m so glad I live in a different city than you.
No one but me ever gets hurt in these incidents. Just for the record.
Once I was giving myself a home perm, so I was standing in the tiny galley kitchen of my apartment in shorts and a bra. Fate looked at my outfit and laughed at me. Someone in the apartment above stamped really hard on the floor (cockroach, probably) and the glass globe light fixture fell off, shattering when it hit the floor. That startled me, so I dropped the Pyrex casserole I was holding. Glass was everywhere! I was bleeding in a dozen places where the shards had hit me. And of *course* I was barefoot.You’re not the only one with Kitchen Disasters. Glad you weren’t hurt.