Why Grown Ass People Sleep with Teenagers

As Grandfille points out, our resident Pedophile Barbie is going back to jail.  Grandfille ask notes that many folks are confused as to why a beautiful woman like her would resort to fucking a teenage boy–they seem to think this would be some great gift to said boy.

Let me explain it to you.   Teenagers need space to fuck around and make mistakes and grow up.  Grown ass people who fuck teenagers, as I’ve said before, have a vested interest in preventing that teenager from growing up and realizing what a loser the teen-fucker is.  That’s why fucking a teenager, even if they appear to be willing, is wrong, because, in order to fuck a teenager, a grown ass person must fuck with that teenager’s head.  If they didn’t fuck with that teenager’s head, the teenager would eventually ask such troubling questions as “Why can’t this person find someone his or her own age to fuck?” and realize that the answer is “Because this person is a loser” and stop fucking them*.

But, why do hot women, who could, seemingly, have any man they want, fuck teenagers?  Here’s my theory.  In all of these cases that reached such high profile, the women were in relationships.  I suspect that these women have spent their whole lives being the pretty, pretty princesses who could always count on their attractiveness as an inducement for men to spoil them.  However, once they get into long-term relationships, their partners grow tired of having to treat the pretty, pretty princess as if she is the most special treat on the planet and not just an ordinary human being who needs to do ordinary things like laundry and dishes and yardwork.

These teenage boys have no experience with ordinary life.  They don’t pay bills or work or feel the full weight of adulthood and so they have no expectation that these women will either.  The woman has found someone who only sees her as the pretty, pretty princess and who expects her always and forever to need special attention that no other man can give her.  So, she chooses the boy who can help her maintain her belief in her special, unique self over the man who wants her to be a grown up.

I suspect the dynamic is similar for men who fuck teenage girls.  He loves that, to her, he is always so smart and powerful and special, because she’s got little history to compare him to.



*Keep yourself safe.  Follow the Shill’s guide for unfoolish coupling.  If you take your age, divide it in half and add seven, that is the youngest aged person you can date without looking like a skivvy loser.


9 thoughts on “Why Grown Ass People Sleep with Teenagers

  1. I think that may be the most times I’ve ever seen fuck included in a paragraph that actually made sense.

  2. Oh, goody! I think you’re old enough for me to date you. If I ran like that, you know. On a more somber note, if someone did that to my kid, I would seriously feel like killing them. It’s happened in courtrooms in the past.

  3. I couldn’t agree with you more, B. I think your theory is right on and I agree with Peggasus, too. Let someone do that to my kids and watch out.

  4. The thought of me with someone 20 years my junior is a wild thought, and that’s what it would be with the Shill’s formula. Regarding your take on all this, yeah, B, good one. And woe be tide the azzhat adult that goes near my teenage girls. I’d hafta friggin kill them.

  5. When I was 14 I fell in serious love with an ex-Marine. He was 26. If circumstances would have been right, I’d have gladly made love to him anywhere, any time. He seemed eager for the prospect, too. But thanks be to my parents I was too well-supervised. And then said marine’s best friend tried to rape me backstage at a play, which pretty much cooled the relationship…Clearly 14 year old girls lack crucial judgment skills, especially when being flattered by the sexual attention of someone so much older. Since boys mature more slowly, they’ve got to be that much more stupid about the whole thing. Some commenter over at Bob Krumm’s made the idiotic assertion that all these "rules" about underage sex are bogus.I can’t wait till that dude has a 14 year old daughter.Anyway, where was I going with this? Oh yeah. Grown people shouldn’t even think about fucking kids.

  6. I was thinking that, because his comment literally read like it came straight from their literature. Why I’ve spent hours reading NAMBLA’s website I’ll never know. Something about trainwrecks….

  7. That is absolutely the best articulation of why this behavior is wrong that I’ve ever read. And the frequent use of the word "fuck" helps keep it from being too clinical for the layman to understand. Also have to agree with the first commenter, too.

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