"Aunt B.? Aunt B.? Can you bring me new underpants?"
"What happened to the underpants you had on? Put those back on."
"No. They have dookie in them."
"Will you wipe me?"
"You can wipe yourself."
"No I can’t. It’s a big mess."
And folks, yes, yes it was. We just did without wiping and went straight up to the bath. It seemed the only feasible solution to a terrible problem.
So, okay, no more farting contests with the nephews, at least not until they get a little older.