Places I Have Been Stabbed with a Pen and a Discussion of the Resulting Scars

In my face

Right under my left eye, very close to my nose.  In face, when it happened, I thought the guy had just broken my nose, as there was a lot of blood and my nose felt kind of weird.  We were having a fight over a chair in French class–obviously, I lost.  But I did wander around the halls of the high school dripping blood everywhere, like some kind of horror movie.  Finally, I found one of the football coaches who cleaned me up and band-aided me back together.  It hurt a lot less than one might expect, but there was a surprising amount of blood. 

The scar

I still notice it, but I don’t think anyone else does.  It’s just a tiny little light crescent near some freckles. 

On my right thumb

In another high school, in another class, I was having a disagreement with a boy about math*.  I had my right hand just resting on the chalk board and was, with my left hand, correcting his work.  I’m occasionally kind of insufferable, I suspect.  He tried to stop me; I threw my hip into him and he stabbed me with his pen.  That hurt like a motherfucker.  “Fuck you, you stabbed me!” I screamed  and he looked at the pen sticking out of my thumb and looked back at me in surprise and said, “Sorry.”

The scar

It’s about half an inch long, right near the base of my thumb.  I think it’s almost unnoticeable, unless I show you my other thumb in comparison.


*Ha, which means, in retrospect, he was probably right, considering my lack of any discernable math skills.

7 thoughts on “Places I Have Been Stabbed with a Pen and a Discussion of the Resulting Scars

  1. Amazing. You’re lucky you didn’t lose an eye. Honestly, I don’t understand how you come by such violent people. I’ve met you, you’re nuts, but you’re nuts in a lovable way.

  2. Aw, Wayward Boy Scout, you are so sweet!But what’s to understand? Clearly, it’s the violent pen culture we live in. Kids listen to this crazy rap music talking all about how cool it is to stab people with pens and the NPA has a huge lobby in DC that prevents lawmakers from couragiously standing up to the pen manufacturers. Because of that, we can’t keep pens out of the hands of violent people. My experience proves why we must have a constitutional amendment banning pens.Ha, no. I kid. Just a little gun humor for you Second Amendment fans.I honestly don’t know. Doesn’t that kind of shit happen to everyone?

  3. I’ve made it this far without being stabbed by a pen. I’ve been cut with a beer bottle and stabbed with a pen knife. Does that count?Maybe you should start a pen control movement.If you can’t solve the pen violence problem, at least pen control legislation might improve the country’s penmanship, which is definitely in need of help.

  4. You know what? There is something funnier than tiny cat pants and darling, that is you. I never grow tired of your company. You are charming and always interesting. I hope to see you at the next Middle Tennessee Blogger and Podcaster’s Meeting.

  5. Boy Scout, Do you have good scars from your stabbing incidents? If so, then, yes, I think they count. And I think you should show them to me.At least, I want to hear how you were cut with a beer bottle. M. thanks. I do enjoy getting together with you guys when I can.

  6. I used to work as a bouncer. Both scars are from that. Both scars are tiny. The knife-one is on my ribs and the bottle-one is on my left arm.You’d have to look REALLY close.

  7. No, no. Anything but that! Please, Mr. Strikingly Beautiful and Pleasantly Disconcerting, don’t take your clothes off and let me closely examine your body for tiny scars! No, no, that would be so terrible. My god. It might even UNDERMINE ALL FEMINISM AS WE KNOW IT. Good lord. Whatever you do, keep your clothes on around me. If not for my sake, then for the sake of your love of feminism.

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