I love strawberries. I make a mean strawberry shortcake from scratch. But I also like just popping a big, luscious juicy strawberry in my mouth and slowly sinking my teeth into it so that the sweet juice fills my mouth and runs down my chin and…
Yes, I love strawberries.
Right now, on the table, there is a vanilla cake with strawberry filling. I want a piece of this cake more than I want Bill O’Reilly to suck my butt.
Alas, the older I get, the more allergic to strawberries I grow. So, for you jackasses, I’m going without. You don’t say it, but I know you’d miss me if my throat swelled shut and I died.
I hope you appreciate the sacrifices I make for you.