I’m sorry to send y’all over to Salon.com, but I can’t figure out how to grab the advertisement I want to talk about. Still, I think you can see it on the main page without having to sit through one of their ads.
We’re looking at this strange Evian ad over on the left.
It opens with a cave that seems to suggest a woman’s bent leg. The Evian bottle juts towards the “crotch” and then “Return to Purity” pops up. The next scene is a big mountain range with a cloud formation shaped like an “X”. The final scene is a naked woman innocently making a snow angel with her knee bent in a way to suggest the shape of the cave at the beginning.
Is Evian trying to promise my subconscious that it can restore my virginity?
If that is the case, do I have to put the bottle in my cooter or just drink a lot of the water? And is being pure as snow and frigid, too, really a great goal to assume your customers might have?
I don’t know. But it’s weird.
And, it doesn’t make me thirsty. It does, however, make me a little curious about whether you can use an Evian bottle as a sex toy. But that may be just me.
Thanks to the incredible smarts of the Wayward Boy Scout, here are the images for you to peruse.