I’ll Trade You

I keep hearing about these mythological women who love nothing better than cleaning house and doing dishes.  Well, if you’re one of those women, do I have a deal for you!

You can come to my house and do what you love–clean up, do some laundry, and put the kitchen back in shape–and I will go to your house and do what I love–drink your beer and masturbate.

8 thoughts on “I’ll Trade You

  1. I don’t think they ‘love’ it. I think they view it the way most women view blowjobs, which is to say ‘if I don’t do it someone else will’;)

  2. Drink beer and masturbate?? Careful with that zombie geese stuff. Damn B, if I hadn’t met you I’d think you were a guy.

  3. Gentlemen! Please. Let’s not get distracted by talk of blow jobs and masturbation from the task at hand, which is, of course, finding someone to clean my house for free before my family redescends on my house like… like…God, you know, it’s like how you defeat Grendel only to discover that his mom is pissed off and going to eat your men. Last weekend was Grendel; this weekend, his angry mom.So, let’s be honest. I need Beowulf and, if Beowulf wouldn’t mind tidying up while I play with myself, that would awesome.

  4. Hey, missy, I don’t come here for the Scandinavian epic poem refernces (other than to point out that perhaps that beowulf and the author of this blog share a need for ego gratification). I come here for, well, I don’t know what exactly but it’s not for poems written in 1100AD.

  5. Uncle, I sure am looking for some kind of gratification… ego, sexual, whatever. I’m not picky.Doesn’t everyone come here for the cooter talk? I know that’s why I’m here.Ooo, Heather, you know a Beowulf? That is very cool.

  6. All I’m saying is that their could be a connection between blow jobs and getting your house cleaned for free. I know we’ve already established that you’re against that trade on general principle, but is it different if it’s not in the context of a couples relationship?

  7. W., there’s a fine line between "If you clean my house, I’ll give you a blowjob" and "My god, the house is so clean! I’m so happy and I want to make you feel as good as I now feel. Let me give you a blowjob."I think we know what side of the line I fall on.Plus, though I’m not sure, I’m thinking that "Will trade clean house for blowjob" comes pretty close to prostitution.

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