How It Went

• I found my mom upstairs crying because she’s convinced that I will never get my car door fixed.


• My dad refused to take a shower, because he didn’t have a towel in his room and he shouldn’t have to ask where they are.


• My dad is also convinced that I am going to die like some football player.  I wasn’t paying attention to who he was telling this to, so I’m not sure what football player it is.


• My mom left me hair products that she bought but didn’t like.  Rather than saying that she was leaving them, she just hid them in my bathroom.


• My dad reiterated his wish to have me keep his skeleton after he’s dead and his wish that my mom be cremated.


• No word from my mom about what she’d like done with herself.


• Both of my parents are convinced that we’re neglecting to take Mrs. Wigglebottom to the vet even though she has had diarrhea for a week.  I explained to them that she’s only had it when they’re around, so perhaps if they stopped feeding her crap, she’d be okay, because, once they leave, she’s fine.


• My dad proudly proclaimed that if there was a prize for Instigator of Things, he would win it.  I said they’d probably just have to go ahead and name the prize after him instead of giving it to him, because otherwise no one else would ever get a chance.

But, on the other hand, no one yelled, no one cried (except the weird crying bout over the car), and no one pretended to be a homeless Korean war vet in order to have an excuse to sit in the back yard and drink.  So, all in all, I think it was a pretty successful visit.

I wish I had something profound or insightful to say about it, but I really don’t.  I don’t know what to make of them.