- I found my mom upstairs crying because she’s convinced that I will never get my car door fixed.
- My dad refused to take a shower, because he didn’t have a towel in his room and he shouldn’t have to ask where they are.
- My dad is also convinced that I am going to die like some football player. I wasn’t paying attention to who he was telling this to, so I’m not sure what football player it is.
- My mom left me hair products that she bought but didn’t like. Rather than saying that she was leaving them, she just hid them in my bathroom.
- My dad reiterated his wish to have me keep his skeleton after he’s dead and his wish that my mom be cremated.
- No word from my mom about what she’d like done with herself.
- Both of my parents are convinced that we’re neglecting to take Mrs. Wigglebottom to the vet even though she has had diarrhea for a week. I explained to them that she’s only had it when they’re around, so perhaps if they stopped feeding her crap, she’d be okay, because, once they leave, she’s fine.
- My dad proudly proclaimed that if there was a prize for Instigator of Things, he would win it. I said they’d probably just have to go ahead and name the prize after him instead of giving it to him, because otherwise no one else would ever get a chance.
But, on the other hand, no one yelled, no one cried (except the weird crying bout over the car), and no one pretended to be a homeless Korean war vet in order to have an excuse to sit in the back yard and drink. So, all in all, I think it was a pretty successful visit.
I wish I had something profound or insightful to say about it, but I really don’t. I don’t know what to make of them.
Have you ran across any hidden money yet? Like, a twenty stuffed inside the top of your pillow so that you feel it when you lay down? Or gift sized portions of fragrances that you never wear? Or nests of half-used bottles of travel-sized shampoo?I know that it all speaks of love, but sometimes I wish love would just shut up.
Your life should be a sitcom.
So true, Bridgett, so true. No, no hidden money, though they did buy us groceries and flip my mattress.My family with a laugh track, that’d be something!