All evening long, I’ve been trying to write an email to my favorite married man. A totally inappropriate email about his scruffy whiskers and where on my body they might scratch that I would find pleasant.
I couldn’t ever finish it.
I adore my favorite married man. I think he adores me. And I adore that kind just straight forward “Well, I like the hell out of you” and “shoot, I like the hell out of you, too” thing. I’m not very good at it, but I like it.
I don’t know what happened. I used to be able to think of all kinds of deliciously naughty things we should do and had no problem expressing that.
But the way he talks about his wife lately just… I don’t know. It does something to my heart, how much he just unabashedly loves her. That kind of makes me love her, too. And that makes it impossible for me to hit ‘send’ instead of ‘cancel.’
I have another friend. I keep starting emails to him, because I’m worried about him. Sadly, our friendship is not as uncomplicated as my friendship with my favorite married guy and so I think I’ve decided it’s not my place to butt in.
I keep starting this post, reading back, and erasing what I’ve written. I’ve gotten this far, I can’t figure out what else I want to say.
Well B, I have to say, this makes me pretty angry. I’m glad you have, so far, refrained from sending the e-mail. Please don’t mess with people’s marriages like that. And that is messing with it because it puts into his head images and thoughts that really should not be there. So go with the anti-Nike slogan – Just Don’t Do It!
Malia, I think you’re the first one of my female readers to ever get pissed off at me and say so. Anyway, I did not send any untoward emails. I just went to bed.
Does that mean I get to keep my hero status?
Of course. I’m glad to have folks who disagree with me. If I ran off everyone on Tiny Cat Pants who told me when I was being a jackass, I wouldn’t have any readers left.
An excellent choice. I try to butt out about stuff like this because it’s just too complicated. I’m married. Of course I’m unsettled when an articulate, intelligent, sexy woman expresses her general taste for married men and one married man in particular. But then again, you aren’t responsible for keeping my marriage vow and you wouldn’t be responsible if my husband decided to break it. On the other hand, I think it’s an excellent choice because I want more for you than a sneak-around heartbreak life. I would want you to have a man who was honest, loyal, and determined — three things that a vow-breaker isn’t. You are a feast and I hate to see you misrepresenting yourself as a snack.
OMG! "You are a feast and I hate to see you misrepresenting yourself as a snack" – this is the best line I have ever heard! Fantastic.As for you, Miss TCP, steer clear the married. Forget about writing him an email – as Bridgett said, no glory in dealing with a vow breaker. I have been in your position before – then was unfortunate to witness my friends husband destroy their marriage by cheating on her. I called it off that day. Never again. I am not a home wrecker. And, since I firmly believe in what comes around goes around, want to keep my karma clean…..
Y’all! I feel like I’ve come back to my very own Lauren Hill song. Anyway, I feel like I should say that nothing has happened. There’s no scandelous affair. We have a flirty bantery thing going that I like because it makes me feel good. But my need to occassionally be reminded that someone thinks I’m the bee’s knees, and therefore, the chances that other folks might someday delight in me, has become, in this case, outweighed by my finding myself surprisingly happy for him about the successful return of his wife.
"the successful return of his wife."Damn it! …and here I was hoping it was me…
Huck! You crazy man. Please don’t cause your wife to come over here and get me. She’s got medical training. She probably knows the precise spot to stab someone with a pen so that they die slowly and horribly while she shows up in my… er… her hospital room to kick me/her.It was the fact that I wanted to smell like magnolias, wasn’t it? A man can only stand so much.
Alas, I understand. It is so painfully true that it can never be between us. I agree… shots suck. However…I must woefully admit,I harbor a selfish need for a well planted forehead kiss from time to time.But, of course, I would never lead YOU, dearest B, on to that point…Still, those magnolias do smell sweet this time of year, don’t they?
Argh!!! Huck! No! Not the dreaded forehead kiss! Good lord, man. Are you trying to drive me to drink? Has there been any practice more thoroughly discussed and thoroughly refuted than the forehead kiss?From here on out, I am only kissing folks on the forehead or letting my forehead be kissed if those folks are of the canine variety. And don’t think singing old Stooges songs about wanting to be my dog is going to cut it.
It was only a joke. I’ve never FK’d a friend. Oh I’ve fucked ’em, just not an FK.
Whew. Okay. You had me worried there.