Things I’d Like But Don’t Have

A Week’s Worth of Dishes, Including Pots and Pans–probably 4 out of 5 stars.  It’d be great to not have to do the dishes but once a week, but where would I stack them all when they were dirty?  Sure, I could immediately put them in the dishwasher, but then where would my clean dishes live?  I don’t have cabinets big enough for a week’s worth of dishes, including pots and pans.


A Dishwasher Big Enough to Hold a Week’s Worth of Dishes, Including Pots and Pans–5 out of 5 stars.  Fuck me!  That’d be so awesome.  I’d love it if I only had to do the dishes once a week.


Photoshop–2 and a half stars.  I had this brilliant idea right before I left work that I could take that naked Burt Reynolds picture and put Sarcastro’s face on it and then email him about how I’d come into possession of a naked picture of him and was going to post it; hope you don’t mind; and hilarity would ensue.  But what the fuck?  Even with Photoshop, I don’t have Photoshopping skills and it wouldn’t be very nice of me, even if it would be funny.


Sex with Ghenghis Khan–Eh, maybe 2 stars?  I’m betting he smelled.


Berry Hill–four out of five stars.  We’re planning on heading back over to Mothership Barbecue for lunch on Friday, me and a couple of the folks from work.  Considering that Berry Hill is a little rebel city surrounded on all sides by Nashville, we were wondering how many armed Nashvillians would have to show up in Berry Hill before it’s considered an occupying force.  With a big enough army, could I claim Berry Hill for my own?  I don’t know much about military tactics, but I do know an army travels on its stomach, so it’s a good thing our first stop is for lunch.

4 thoughts on “Things I’d Like But Don’t Have

  1. Berry Hill Police Officer Sonny Highers put it thusly:Berry Hill is one square mile. We have two officers on patrol 24 hours a day. It’s the best protected cemetary in the country.(That big cemetary is part of the one square mile. I think Dottie West is buried there.)I think your coup is ill advised.

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