Y’all, another animal in this house has maimed me. I’m starting to take it personally.
We–Mrs. Wigglebottom and I–were walking along and she picked up this big stick, ran at me, and flipped her head so that the stick hit me right in the knee and scraped it all up.
Is that not the lame-o-ist injury to ever be incurred from a pet?
And who does the dog think she is? Some kind of mafia enforcer?
Tiny Cat Pants 
Mrs. Wigglebottom = Tonya Harding. Maybe she’s working for the patriarchy. She is a Mrs. after all.
Considering her uncanny ability to put her paw right in a man’s most vulnerable spot in such a way as to render that man very unhappy, I don’t think she’s a full-time employee of the patriarchy. But maybe she freelances for both sides.