Y’all, another animal in this house has maimed me. I’m starting to take it personally.
We–Mrs. Wigglebottom and I–were walking along and she picked up this big stick, ran at me, and flipped her head so that the stick hit me right in the knee and scraped it all up.
Is that not the lame-o-ist injury to ever be incurred from a pet?
And who does the dog think she is? Some kind of mafia enforcer?