Kleinheider links to the story of Ann Coulter’s pronouncement of Bill Clinton’s supposed latent homosexuality.
Yes, in an unfortunate turn of events for the Straight American Male, it turns out that fucking women is an indication that you are gay.
Poor Kleinheider. It’s bad enough that “a man cannot appreciate ballet or express anything approaching true respect or tenderness for a fellow male without being seen as ‘a bit sweet’ or a closet case.” According to Coulter wanting to put your penis in a vagina nestled in between the legs of a human with soft round curves and beautiful boobs also makes you gay.
It’s pretty funny. And, it’s probably wrong to admit this, but I think I’d pay good money to watch Kleinheider and Clinton make out. Considering that both of them are self-admitted pussy lovers, which, thanks to Coulter, we now know is code for “Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay,” I think my chances are pretty good.
Gay folks, as always, I am in awe of your nefariousness. First, you take over Hollywood. Then you ruin marriage by linking it with love, and now, now you hold before America the prospect of some Bill on Adam loving. I bow at your genius. But whisper what you want from me and I will march across state lines to provide it for you. My only criticism is that you’re not aiming high enough. If you have the power to turn straight men gay merely by exposing them to a number of cooters, why aren’t you holding all of the homophobes in this country hostage?
Get on Fox News and tell Bill O’Reilly that, if he doesn’t support gay marriage, you’ll turn him gay. Demand George Bush come up with a peace plan for the Middle East, pronto, or you’ll turn him and Cheney gay.
Think big, people!
Yet sex with a woman resembling a stick insect with an adams apple is perfectly normal.
I thought that liking Titian more than Maplethorpe meant that I was straight, but now everything is called into question. What about guns? Does fantasizing about long, hard, manly guns mean that I’m straight? It so confusing; maybe JC General can help me figure this out.
But oh the things she can do with that adam’s apple!