I had the most beautiful looking peach in my lunch and I bit in and it was not yet ripe. Even though every nerve in my mouth tingled and my eyes watered, I tried to eat it because I did not want to be one of those people who measures out her life with coffee spoons.
Alas, I just could not get through it. Hopefully, the rest of the peaches in my kitchen will hurry up and ripen.
I have to eat them at work, though, because the dog thinks that all peaches within her purview are hers to eat, if she can get them, and it’s very hard to eat a peach with a sad dog resting her head on your leg looking at you like she’s about to die of lonesome if she can’t have that peach.
My favorite peach of all times* is the peach-shaped water tower in Gaffney, South Carolina, because the first time I saw it, I was driving down from Winston-Salem to Bremen, Georgia to inadvertently have Thanksgiving with the Ku Klux Klan and there, on the side of the interstate, hovering over the treeline was what appeared to be a giant pink ass mooning everyone on I-85. I was so tickled by the thought of some town in South Carolina putting up a giant butt with which to moon everyone; it seemed to capture something about the essence of South Carolina.
I was disappointed when the KKK explained that it was a peach and not an ass, but I still really like it and I remain convinced that the “peach” story is just a cover for the more obvious “Let’s moon the tourists” purpose of the water tower.
*Oh, come on. Like you don’t have a favorite peach of all times. You know, to go with your favorite pepper of all times. My favorite pepper was a beautiful purple bell pepper I saw in an Aldi’s in Chicago. Did you know that they will kick your ass out of Aldi’s if you drunkenly and loudly proclaim your love for a beautiful purple bell pepper, so shiny and enticing?
Well, they will.