Today I read something so disturbing that I can’t decide how to respond to it. One of you sent me a link to a blog in which the writer is complaining because a thirteen year old girl in her apartment complex is a “slut” and yet wants to hang out with the writer’s kid.
The person who sent me the link called the writer on it and the writer thought better of it and removed the word from her post.
Without it there, it looks like the author is just concerned about this poor fucked-up child. And maybe she is. I don’t know; I’m not a regular reader there. I’m staying out of it.
But I read the post the first time with the word in there and I’ve got to tell you, it made me sick to my stomach.
You guys, if what this writer said is true, there’s something terrible happening to this girl*. At thirteen, she’s already incredibly sexualized, by the author’s account, and the author says
I learned that she was “dating” a 28 year old. From my friend who lives next door from her. Apparently, both mother and daughter feel the need to tell my friend this. Anyway, said girl, was seeing this 28 year old (remember said girl is 13) and mom did NOTHING about it, but ground her for a week.
I don’t guess anyone here has any question about why a twenty-eight year old man would “date” a thirteen year old girl. So, let’s count the women who know this girl is being molested: her mom, her neighbor, and the writer of this blog.
And what’s the problem? That she behaves like a “slut.” Not that none of these women have a moral compass which would tell them that they should involve the authorities in this little girl’s sex life; that’s not the problem. The fact that she’s a “slut” and it makes the writer uncomfortable is.
I, personally, can’t wait to live in a post-feminist world. But as long as we have women who look at a little girl who is the victim of a crime and see her as the problem and not the fucker who’s raping her or the mother who stands by and jokes about it while it happens and then grounds the girl, I’m afraid there’s a shit load more work to be done.
Step one is not calling a fucked-up, traumatized little girl who you know to be the victim of a crime a slut.
Step two is being fully human enough yourself to call the fucking cops.
*It’s the internet, of course, so who the fuck knows what’s real and what’s not?