Do Dachshunds Make Everything More Awesome?

We should do some kind of test where everyone does their favorite thing, measures their pleasure in doing it (perhaps using the Libertarian Scale of Things to Panic About, if we can’t put it to any better use), and then does it again in the presence of a dachshund.

Because I am firmly convinced that dachshunds do indeed make everything more awesome.

I once dogsat for a man with three dachshunds, who lived–I shit you not–in what was the bear exhibit at the old zoo here in town.  The bear cave was still in his front yard, much the same way that the Grizzly River Rampage is still sitting behind the Opryland Hotel, just another landscape feature.  And I loved walking his dogs because they would bound in and out of the tall grass like happy porpoises with legs. 

Anyway, has a review of a bookIcelander by Dustin Long–which I am now dying to read based solely on the joy I take in seeing that there is, in the book, a dog called the Fenris Dachshund.

God, see.  The presence of the Fenris Dachshund has already improved this post 53% by its mere mention and this was already a good post to start with. 

13 thoughts on “Do Dachshunds Make Everything More Awesome?

  1. Hey now. Dachshunds are small but they’re mighty. Perhaps if both Garm and the Fenris Dachshund were involved, they could get a whole hand off.

  2. We do not have dachshunds. However, two of our neighbors do, and they have indeed made our humdrum suburban lives more awesome. We look forward to spring every year and the return of the Wiener Dog Nationals, in which our neighbor’s boys race their go-kart around in a circle at high speeds in the back yard, followed by said wiener dog attempting high speeds. The physics involved are just mind-boggling. (Cue dachshund-running sound FX: [wobbita wobbita wobbita] ENHN! ARF! [wobbita wobbita wobbita] ARF!)The only thing funnier than tiny cat pants is a dachshund running. I’m tellin’ ya.By the way, go to for more dachshund adventures. Pee first.

  3. I don’t know. Since Garm is the lesser of the two, he must be a Yorkie, or some such.

  4. The Smiffs are owned by one Bogart Von Bam Bam, that we call "Bogie" for short. (I shit you not B…thats his real, official AKC name….his daddy’s name was Bam Bam).Dachshunds are extremely cool dogs. If I could afford them, I’d be a crazy woman with 50 little doxies running around. They are sooo smart and a little snobby, but, mucho fun.

  5. Oh my god. I want to change my name to Bogart Von Bam Bam! I want to change this blog’s name to Bogart Von Bam Bam! I want to have a baby and name it Bogart Von Bam Bam! Or do all three. That is the most awesome name ever.

  6. Bo at Miss Doxie’s, Bogart at the Good Sista’s … I’m seeing a pattern here.Sista, is your Bogie the Antichrist, too? Hee.<i>If I could afford them, I’d be a crazy woman with 50 little doxies running around.</i>I’d have to be rich enough to afford lots of Depends, too, because I’d be constantly wetting myself laughing at them. Wobbita wobbita.

  7. With all love to dachshunds, I think the Basenji is a truly awesome dog breed. Got to love a dog that doesn’t bark, but "makes a yodeling noise."Read all about them here: while you’re there, say howdy to Neal. He’s wintering over in Antarctica (Amundsen Scott) and it won’t be actual daylight there for another couple of weeks. (Though I hear real honest-to-god twilight has just happened.) He could stand the excitement, I expect. And the Men of Antarctica Polar Nudes calendar is certainly worth a look. Neal is Mr. July.http://jeffderosa.blogspot.com2006_06_01_jeffderosa_archive.html

  8. I will have to admire the nekkidn … um, wonderful works of the Lord from the Mac at home. But he is a cute fella on his blog. And <i>"When meeting strangers, the Basenji prefers to make the first overtures and should not be approached from behind"</i>should be the recommended M.O. for everyone, not just an aloof yodeling doggy.

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