Now It Can Be Told

I had to send my measurements in for the Super Genius’s bridesmaids dress which, I will, obviously, be wearing and I must tell you that I couldn’t find a cloth tape measure and so I did just what anyone with a toolbox would do and measured myself using the regular old tape measure.

I think as long as the dress is shaped like a cube, I will be fine.

Still, I calculated my waist to hip ratio and discovered that, according to evolutionary psychologists, you men should look at me and find me so fertile and healthy seeming that you cannot help but make sweet love to me right there on the sidewalk.

Sadly, this is not often the case. I don’t know if this is sadder for me or sadder for the nascent field of evolutionary psychology.

9 thoughts on “Now It Can Be Told

  1. I don’t have a cloth tape measure that I can find, so I generally use a length of yarn and then measure THAT on the measuring tape.

  2. I just wanted to say hello. I was directed here by a link on dooce. I love the site. I was once a Nashvillian myself (lived on Beechwood near Belmont). I’m stunned to admit I miss it a little. (I live in Southern California now.) Also, I have a bridesmaid’s dress coming up myself. It’s very low-cut and shocking. I’m astonished. I think I might be a bridesmaid prude. I know! It’s freaky.Oh, and I loved the entry about the shorts falling off. I have a pair I bought from Target that do exactly the same thing except worse!! they ride up as well as stretch. By the end of the day, they hang off of me and roll up as well. It’s like I suddenly am wearing a low-slung cotton belt instead of shorts. Very, very attractive. And yet … and yet I still wear them. I think I’m hoping that, each new time, it will be different.Okay, well, too much talking. It’s a nice site. Thanks!

  3. Too funny. I try to keep away from tape measures, myself. Then I think about the bridesmaid predicament… which to me, is in & of itself, torture. I think I would rather wear the box your tool box tape measure would fit me for that some of the brides maid dresses I have seen & been made to endure!!! Good luck. Perhaps you’ll have to post a picture of it when you finally have it finished…. speaking of photos – you don’t post many – actually… None. Why is that?

  4. For starters, I don’t have a digital camera or a scanner or even a regular camera for that matter, so getting photos to post here happens only when my folks send me some or when the recalcitrant brother leaves his phone lying around where I can take pictures with it.For second, I look like a giant two-year old. Who wants to look at photos of a giant two-year old doing things?Okay, now that I say that, it does sound like it might be cool.But that’s my reason. I’m not that interesting to look at.

  5. We are all our own worst critic. I hate posting pics of myself. But I get it. I understand… But, you have to promise to post a pic of the bridesmaid dress. Unless, of course, it actually turns out to be presentable. Then I don’t want to see it. I only want to see it if after I’ve seen it, it promises to invoke fits of laughter when I think back on it. Deal?

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