It’s Time to Discuss FAQ Question Number 27

27. You’re liberal, right? So why are you so hard on liberal men?

Because liberal men claim to be on my side.

I dread doing this, because I know it makes me seem like a humorless bitch, and with all the ways that feminists are typified as humorless bitches, I hate to add to the problem.

However, when something nags at you, you’ve got to poke around and see what the problem is.

I want to start with Stokely Carmichael, but the man’s dead, so what good does that do?  It’s just that he said what so many of us fear y’all (y’all being ‘liberal men’) are thinking but leaving unsaid.  It hangs out there, like an echo so loud and clear you can mistake it for a man’s speaking voice, even half a century later–"the only position for women…"

How often do we feel like we’re sitting right at a crucial moment in history, how often do we think "Now is our chance to DO something" only to find that the folks who always get to do don’t want us to do anything but lend our support, and keep our legs open, as some kind of rest stop where the folks who are busy changing the world can stretch and refresh before they get back to the real work?

The question progressive women are always asking is whether progressive men are going to make room so that we can do some shit, too, or if we’re still supposed to wait around looking pretty and doing some light typing until you need a quick fuck.

Are we really a part of the progressive movement or are we relegated to a "special interest"?

I mean, if you’re a lefty boy and you want to have a blog that is called "Joe’s Pink Taco Stand" that deals mostly with your exploits as you attempt to bed as many anarchist girls as you can, more power to you.  I don’t give a shit.

But, if you’re going to call you blog "Tennessee’s Progressive Report," then I’m going to read you with an eye as to how I fit into your plans for progressive politics in Tennessee. 

I’m accepting applications for a TPR Intern. You know, I need some eager college student who’ll work for free and I can treat like crap all in the name of learning what the "new media" is all about.

age 18-25
Photo identification required
Must be able to read… writing is a plus but not required
I don’t drink coffee, so bartending skills are a must
Must work well with others… or just me…
If you’ve been convicted of a crime, please explain…
If you’ve committed a crime, but didn’t get caught, even better…

Please note that all applicants will be subject to a drug test. Results will not affect employment, I just wanna know how fun you’ll be…

And well, there you go.

Sometimes serious, sometimes a joke, sometimes a joke made in all seriousness–Carmichael’s old saw still doing its work. 

Progressive men, I’m just at a loss.  Listen, I get that being criticized by the feminists is no fun, especially when you’re clearly doing more to advance women’s rights than the conservatives are, but enough already with the "Heh, heh, I’m going to get me a hot chick to ‘help’ with my work" jokes.  It wasn’t funny the first time; it’s not funny now.

And you’re needlessly alienating your allies. 

5 thoughts on “It’s Time to Discuss FAQ Question Number 27

  1. Sorry, Matt. You’re just one more stepping stone on my path to world domination. Though I thought I was merely talking about how your post made me feel, I was actually "do[ing] anything, play[ing] any game, tell[ing] any lie, and pull[ing] any stunt, to get sympathy. [I] crave sympathy more than junkies crave heroin." because I am an insufferable ingrate.Had I known the power I was weilding, I would have been more careful with it.Actually, had I realized that the way Kleinheider would get even with me for talking about his penis all evening would be to use me both as a cudgel against you and as bait for the feminist-haters, I might have been more careful.Still, I think my point stands–if you’re the butt of the joke, it’s not so funny.

  2. No worries…I’ve gotten more visits from this mess than any other post since I began blogging.Like they say, "Any publicity is good publicity".

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