Things that Crossed My Mind Over Lunch

1.  It takes a certain amount of chutzpah for a kid to go on Fox News and bitch about things that James Lawson says at Vanderbilt.  And for him afterwards to say:

When Colmes provided a liberal counterpoint to his argument,
Donnelly cited one professor’s quotes as an example of liberal bias. He
said, “James Lawson said that racism, slavery and Navajo genocide
contributed to Sept. 11.”

“I was particularly concerned with Rev. Lawson’s comments,” Donnelly
after the interview. “I respect his achievements in the 1960s civil
rights movement, but at this point, I am not sure what his value is on
this campus in terms of the rhetoric he exhibited at the Sept. 11

I’m sorry.  I’ve just been laughing about that all day.  Maybe the Professor has tainted me with all her Cesaire ways, but good lord, that’s some funny shit.

First off, Lawson is a Methodist minister.  When he agreed to return to Vanderbilt, a place he was expelled from for the outrageous act of wanting to be treated like an equal human being, it was on the condition that they accept that he would be returning as a part of his ministry and that he would be prophesying.

One can agree or disagree with the wisdom of living your life as a prophet, but considering the Vanderbilt Divinity School was built on the premise of being “a school for prophets,” one should not be surprised to find Vanderbilt willing to bring one to campus.

 And prophets are sometimes concerned with identifying spiritual causes to historical events.

 But two?  Oh, please, little white boy, you just go ahead and let us all know when Vanderbilt has done enough to atone for what it did to Lawson and when he no longer has value to the institution.  Oh no!  He’s making white men uncomfortable.

Maybe Vanderbilt should make him leave.


Or is there some idea that not only should Vanderbilt have the opportunity to atone for its misdeeds, it should get to set the standard by which it decides if it’s done enough to make up for them?

2.  Go over and comfort Exador.  He’s finding himself coming down with a bad case of liberal cooties. 

3.  On a slightly related note, I have to admit, I could give two shits about the “How can we blame Bush for North Korea?” game.  It’s one thing to blame Bush for failing to anticipate how regimes run by sane people act, but North Korea?  Dude’s not sane.  There is no “correct” course of action when dealing with a monomaniacal mad man.  

Could Bush have handled things differently?  Yes.  But is the likelihood that we still would have ended up at this point eventually pretty great?  Yes.

So, let’s get back to blaming Bush for shit he does have control over, like why Rumsfeld still has a job.

I Think I May Have Poisoned Myself

[Warning: Gross discussions of bodily functions and weird crap.]

I woke up at about two thirty this morning with what felt like the worst menstrual cramp I’ve ever felt, but not in the right place.  It was right where my left leg meets my torso.  I thought I was just sleeping on it funny, because I was laying in the exact position I’d fallen asleep in, and so I tried to roll over, but no good.

And then all of a sudden I realized I had better get to the bathroom.

I rush in.  I sit down and it’s like every muscle in my body spasms and, in a perfect world I would have thrown up and had the shits.

Y’all.  I felt so bad I was hoping something, anything, would come out of whatever end it could come out of.  But no, I’m just sitting there shaking and sweating and waiting and waiting.

I had this overwhelming desire to just lay in the tub, but I was afraid I wouldn’t be able to get back out before the Butcher had to go to work.  So I was like, I’ll just lay down on top of my covers for a little bit and if I can’t cool off, then I’ll come back in here and lay in the tub.

But, here’s where it’s weird. 

Once I stood up, once I had a plan, I felt a lot better.

So, I did lay down and finally, after a few minutes, I was cold (as I should have been, because it’s cool in here) and got under the covers and went to sleep.

The plan was that I’d just sleep until I woke up and, if I felt okay, go into work then (because I have a ton to do and can’t really miss a whole day).  But I woke up only a little later than I regularly do.

I feel kind of weak, so I didn’t walk the dog, and my sides are really sore, but other than that, I feel fine.

So, here is my wonder.  Yesterday was the last day I sat out.  I didn’t go outside, just up to my room.  And at some point, I realized the whole room was filled with smoke*, so I got up, opened the window, and turned on the fan.

And I ate some microwave popcorn whose age I’m unsure of.

Well, not at the same time.  I know of no religious practice that requires one to eat microwave popcorn, but who knows what the Discordians get up to?  Anyway, I wonder if the combo of filling myself up with smoke and then eating microwave popcorn didn’t inadvertently poison me?

It’s times like this when I think it’s lucky for everyone that I practice alone.



*It’s right about here when I am so embarrassed to admit this stuff out loud that I almost want to go back, delete this whole post, and pretend I’ve converted to Presbyterianism.