Political Wish List

1.  Cheney resigns.

2.  Rumsfeld resigns.

3.  Democrats take House.

4.  Democrats take Senate.

5.  Joe Scarborough shows up at my house to play "Lonely Conservative Forced to Enact Godless Pervert Liberal Agenda." 

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A Few Words On Harold Ford Jr.

Conventional wisdom will say that Harold Ford Jr. lost just because he’s black.

Conventional wisdom is an idiot.

If there’s one thing you non-Tennesseans take away from this I hope it’s not that Ford lost because we’re a bunch of racist backwoods hicks.

The two main reasons Ford lost are as follows:

1. Every time there’s some kind of political scandal in this state some relative of Ford’s is caught up in it.  His family is corrupt in a way they write Shakespearian dramas about.  Corrupt in a way that approaches great art, so corrupt.  And yet, because Ford was dependant on the political will of his family and their cronies and such to run a campaign, he could never distance himself from his family.  Of course, he said he wouldn’t talk about his family, and so there never was any frank, loud discussion about how he was different than them, even though they brought him up through their system.

2.  Because he didn’t ever talk about what distinguished him from the rest of his family and because he has a well-known and well-earned reputation as something of a playboy, when he started talking about Jesus, it was shocking.  It signaled, I believe, a complete disconnect between what the voters of Tennessee wanted to know and what Ford thought we wanted from him.  We wanted to know if he was going to be a good man; he wanted to assure us that he was a Christian.

As everybody knows, being a Christian is not the same thing as being a good man. 

How could someone from a deeply corrupt family who himself has a reputation of something of a party boy stand in a church and claim that his love for Jesus should be a deciding factor in the election?  Not only did it seem kind of gross, I’m convinced it seemed like an enormous "What the fuck?" to a lot of Christians.  You don’t get the benefits of being a Christian just by claiming to go to church; you have to give yourself over to real life change.  Ford wanted the benefits of being a Christian politician without having to publicly explain what kind of real change he’d undergone to separate himself from the ickiness in his past.

Yes, I’m sure that some folks voted against Ford because they were not going to vote for a black man, period.  After all, when folks put so much emphasis on Ford being "from Memphis" I think we all get that "ooo, he’s from a scary city full of black people!  oooo!"

But the truth is that he came very close to winning the seat now held by the Senate Majority Leader.  Very close.   Which means that a number of folks were putting aside their "racialist" tendencies and voting for Ford anyway.  He lost because of his own misstep on the religion thing.  I think it’s as simple as that. 

He ran an almost flawless campaign, which made the one flaw so much more obvious and meaningful.

Sean Braisted would seem to disagree with me slightly.  This, I imagine, comes as a surprise to no one.

Liveblogging the Election

I feel kind of obligated to liveblog the election because Newscoma seemed to insinuate that I might and all the cool kids seem to be, but it’s 8:45, I’m watching with the sound off and all I can think is, what if Matthews and Olbermann started making out?


8:50–Olberman is wearing a striking pink tie.


8:51–Argh.  What is that on Charlie Cook’s head?


8:53–Is it just me or do Ford and Corker have the same nose?


8:54–Shit, I forgot Law & Order is on!


8:55–Wow, this is some crappy acting.


8:57–How many times can they say it’s too early to say anything about what the results mean?


See, this is why I can’t liveblog the results.  I’m just not that witty.


But, shoot, my crush on Joe Scarborough continues unabated.


9:00–Santorum is gone!  Tee hee.  But shoot, don’t make the crying kids come out there with you, dude.


9:02–God gets a round of applause.  Santorum is going to do what he writes about and talks about all the time.  Have sex with dogs?  Oh, no, go be a dad.  Whew.


9:07–America, explain this to me.  Smiley tried, but I’m an idiot.  If Liebermann is so popular that he can win as an independent, how was he not popular enough to win the Democratic primary?


9:11–A socialist senator?!  What a great country we have!


9:13–Why can’t we let the Atchafalaya capture the Mississippi?  Sure, New Orleans is an important port, but…


9:21–Dear Tennessee, what the fuck?  Not just for the reason Ivy points out, but also because CNN is reporting that 60% of the precincts have reported and there are 673,864 for Corker and 602,768 and a couple thousand here or there for the other dudes.  Only just over a million of us bothered to turn out to vote so far?  What the fuck?


9:30–Coble, you’re so right.  Could this be any more dull?  And why doesn’t McCain move his top lip?


9:30–Some brave soul over at the Blogspot drops a bombshell–Hitler is still alive!


9:34–Harry Reid looks like an actor that would have ended up on M*A*S*H*.  But Democrats, please, stop talking about how “proud we are of the American people.”  We can be so patronizing.  It’s so embarrassing.  And now we’re talking about loving the troops.  Good god.  Will a day come when we can ever talk frankly?


9:36–There’s Hillary.  I have an idea.  Why don’t we just tear up the Constitution and declare the Clintons and the Bushes our imperial leaders and we’ll just fucking trade off.  Bushes have the “presidency” for 8 years.  Some random Clinton has it for 8 years.  Then back to some Bush.  It’ll be so awesome and so fucking healthy for our democracy.  Hillary, if you love America, do not run for President.


9:40–WKRN has three great voices on the television right now and three of the most unfortunate hairdoes in all of Nashville. 


9:44–Seriously, Brittney, take those men to Supercuts!


9:48–Hey!  Bob Krumm is not losing that terribly.


9:57–Okay, if the Democrats are going to take the House, I’m going to bed.


‘Night all.