Let Us Count the Good

1.  I just got a very lovely email from someone who said that I had to be kissed because “you are beautiful and I couldn’t help myself.”  I would very much like most of my emails to contain similar sentiments from here on out.

2.  I’ve been snickering all day coming up with different caveats to soothe Exador.  I was sitting in a staff meeting sketching them out on the back of my minutes.  “While it’s true that many feminists do want to rip your testicles off and hang them on their wall like a trophy…”  “While one cannot discount the fall of Rome when talking about just about anything, I hope we can move beyond blaming and get down to talking about…”  “While it’s true that dentists prefer Trident four to one, I still think…” 

3.  Last Thanksgiving, when Exador and Sarcastro were somewhat more unattached than they are now, they got drunk and called my mom.  She stood in the kitchen all “Oh, I don’t know.  Let me think of some good stories I could tell you about B.  Oh, hee hee, B. your friends sound very cute!”  I know Sarcastro’s been forbidden from liveblogging any more family get-togethers, but that was so genius. 

4.  I had to come into work tomorrow because I needed a package before I went home.  The person sent it a day early.  I can leave for home before 1 p.m. because I don’t have to come into the office. 

5.  Poor Mrs. Wigglebottom has been left behind on so many of my trips over the last couple of years.  Nothing makes me happier than to think that I won’t have to face her look of disappointment when the suitcase goes in the car but she doesn’t.  I love when the Butcher packs her a little bag of her own.  It’s just so cute.  But you know, whenever a girl goes to her grandparents’ she needs certain toys–a rope, a big old cow femur, a ball–in order to feel at home. 

Damn You Anti-Gay Marriage Folks!

You know how the anti-gay marriage folks are always like, “Oh we can’t have gay marriage; it’s a slippery slope from letting gays get married to people marrying multiple people or dogs or walnuts or staplers!”

And everyone’s like, “Well, shoot, we can’t have people marrying staplers. I guess we better ban gay marriage.”

But y’all! I need that slippery slope and I need it today.

For today, I need to be able to marry a blog post.

Yes, it’s true. A blog post has been written that delights me so much I want to run down to the courthouse, pledge my undying love for it, and be legally bound to it for the rest of my days… Or until I get bored of it, which ever… But my point is that your homobigotry is ruining my god-given, natural blogosexual desire to marry this post.

Thanks for nothing, anti-gay marriage folks.

Here’s the post up for much love.