My Parents Stay at a Fancy Hotel

My parents are staying at the hotel the Butcher works at, because he got them a nice discount (which means they’ll only be spending one night with us!).  Aside from the few nights my dad spent out at the Opryland Monstrosity, this is the nicest hotel my parents have ever stayed at.

As you might imagine, they are unimpressed.  For one, there’s no complimentary breakfast.  For another, they’d have to pay to park and make some decision about whether to use the valets.  You’d think that deciding whether to use the valets or just parking would not be a monumental problem, but y’all, instead of making it at all, they’ve had the Butcher bring them over to the hotel every night, drive their van back here, and bring it over to them in the morning.

Which, come to think about it, is a lot like having the valets park your car, but for free and your car is much further away.

Today they wanted me to get up and come over and have breakfast at McDonald’s with them.  I politely declined.  I recommended instead they try Bread and Company.  Neither of them drink coffee, but they were very concerned that it was going to be one of those places that charges five dollars for a cup of coffee*.

But the best was when they checked in, there was a bottle of vodka and some cranberry juice behind one of the chairs and my dad, who doesn’t drink, called the Butcher and made him come over and get rid of it a.) so the maids wouldn’t get in trouble for not seeing it and b.) so that no one would assume that my parents were drinkers.

Heaven forbid!





*Y’all may recall that we met the Shill and Tiny in a Starbucks, which was my parents first, and only, trip to one of those and they are still outraged about how much everything costs.

3 thoughts on “My Parents Stay at a Fancy Hotel

  1. PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, TELL THE BUTCHER TO HOOK MY PARENTS UP WITH THE DISCOUNT! They aren’t even here yet and I am having panic attacks. They wouldn’t use valet parking either, though, and we live in Franklin, which is an awful long way to park away from the hotel. It would be hours before we could pick them up… PLEASE, THE DISCOUNT???

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