Brittney tagged me and so I’m going to try to come up with five things I haven’t already confessed to you here.
1. I have an irrational fear of getting stickers in my mouth, especially price tags. I almost can’t type that, it bothers me so much.
2. When I lived with the graduate school roommate who was not Dr. J., I often wanted to beat the shit out of her. She’d get this look on her face and I’d just feel this kind of primal rage and desire to knock her down until she stayed down. It scared the shit out of me, that feeling, but shoot, it was there, the desire to just smash her face in.
3. When I was in second grade, all the kids on the playground would have these fake marriages and my friend Krista was married to Eric, who sat in front of me. On the day of their divorce, he asked me to marry him and I told him no, because he’d just be with me to ease his heartache and not because he really liked me. I often think that my whole life would be dramatically different if I’d told him yes.
4. I don’t think “Betsy” is my real name.
5. I have a birthmark on my cooter.
Or maybe it’s a mole or a large freckle. Can anyone explain in simple terms the differences between a freckle, a mole, and a brown birthmark?