For those of you who need to be brought up to speed, Pink Kitty has been taking dance now for a while and has gotten awesome at it. Brittney over at Nashville is Talking posted a clip of PK dancing up a storm.
The very first comment at NiT, from some ass who calls himself Wintermute, was “Skip it, dudes. Another blogging whale.”
You can see that the comments at NiT and Coble’s place pretty quickly filled up with cries of “what an asshole!” But I think it’s important to call he-man woman-hating what it is, and this is classic he-man woman-hating bullshit.
Let’s just consider the assumptions one has to have in order to make a comment like this:
1. That the only reason dudes looks look at anything on the internet is to see hot women.
2. That Wintermute knows what kind of women all men searching for hot women on the internet find hot.
3. That only dudes scan the internet looking for hot women.
God, this whole thing is making me so made again, I can’t even finish my snarky analysis.
See, here’s the thing. Wintermute can only pull bullshit like that for two reasons: 1. the opinions of women don’t count to him and 2. He can chalk it up to “pussy”-hood if any men disagree with him.
Do you see how fucking woman-detesting that attitude is? He gets to discount any objections to his bullshit because they either come from women or come from men he can decide have girly characteristics. And who gives a shit what girly-folks think? It’s fine to be cruel to them.
Peruse over to his blog. Notice what he looks like. Now, try to imagine what woman in the Tennessee blogging world would, if Brittney posted to something of his, ever say “Don’t waste your time, gals. It’s just another blogging toad.”
Who would say that? Frankly, the only three women I can think of mean enough to do something like that are me, Brittney, and Amanda, and Amanda doesn’t have a blog. And I can honestly say that it would never have occurred to me to do so except in direct retaliation for this.
Most women just don’t believe that we deserve a world full of men who conform to our narrow standards of what beauty is and so we wouldn’t expect anyone to give a shit if we’re grouching about how something we see fails to fit it.
And second, because we all know that “Don’t waste your time, gals. Just another blogging toad.” is not the same thing as “Skip it, dudes. Another blogging whale.”
Even though the words are very similar, the insult is much different precisely because there’s not the same wide-spread cultural… not just belief… but imperative that men conform to very narrow beauty standards that others are free to help police that there is for women.
Just like there’s no equivalent for “slut” or “whore” or “cunt” or “bitch”–those words that, when we hear them let us know we don’t fit and that how we stand out could quickly become dangerous for us–there’s no way for me to casually call forth and fling at a man an assumed collective judgment of all women. If I wrote “Don’t waste your time, gals. Just another blogging toad,” I’m willing to bet money that you all would assume I was stating my own opinion of him and that some of you would call me on what bullshit it is to state it in such a way that I imply that everyone with tits would agree with me.
I’m not saying this didn’t happen in Wintermute’s case. Clearly it did.
I’m saying that dude could not have even typed such hurtful bullshit except that he believes himself to have a great many men who agree with him and who will, even if they don’t say so, be cheering him on if he’s ever called on his bullshit by the women and girly-men who disagree with him.
Can I just say something?
A woman ought to be able to post a clip of herself dancing on the internet without it requiring any bravery.
It is crazy that we live in a society where a woman has to be brave to post a clip of herself dancing.
No, it’s beyond crazy.
It breaks my heart that Pink Kitty can’t post a clip of herself doing something she’s incredibly good at without having to steel herself first, because she must know that the first thing many folks see is not just a woman dancing, but someone who dares show herself without considering whether she meets whatever current acceptable criteria for aesthetic object.
God. I want to make this point in a way that’s clear.
That’s Pink Kitty dancing. When you watch it, you’re supposed to see Pink Kitty dancing. If it turns you on, that’s fine. I, myself, find it very hard to watch the way her skirt slips around her legs and gives you glimpses of thigh, and not find myself blushing. That’s a human reaction to somebody doing something that’s damn sexy. But just because Pink Kitty is a woman doing something that other people might find sexy doesn’t give anyone the right to pass judgment on Pink Kitty as an aesthetic object and I am sorry to Pink Kitty that some folks don’t get that. It’s not Pinky Kitty’s problem if you find her hot or not and it is bullshit to criticize her as if it is.
Let me spell it out:
Even if I buy that you cannot help but think about sex whenever you see a hot woman, that does not oblige womankind to make sure that we are “hot” in just the right way to trigger your sexual fantasies or, if we can’t do that, to never make public appearances.
That’s all. I’m grossed out. In a perfect world, Wintermute would have woken up today looking exactly how he does but with woman parts and then he’d have to go out in the world.
Update on Monday, January 8, 2007 at 11:45AM
Pink Kitty Responds
If you haven’t seen it yet, I highly recommend checking out Pink Kitty’s response to this whole situation. She handles it with incredible class.