Oh, sure, Smiff, as if I didn’t feel bad enough about being a nerdy good girl who was raised in a hermetically sealed tube that traveled only between the parsonage, the church, and school, now I find I’m only $230 worth of bad?

Anyway, I also wasn’t sure if I calculated right.  I went over to Blogarita’s and used her list as the list for fines and just charged myself for having done it, not per incident, right?  Because, I think, if I charged myself per incident I could break… say… $250.

What I’m really curious about is who, between Sarcastro, Exador, and Knuck, would come closest to topping out the fines?  I’m betting on Exador only because I think Sarcastro and Knuck are too old for the MySpace fine. (I tease!)

49 thoughts on “$230.50

  1. Ha, if only I were good at math, I would know what the most someone could be fined is, and then your number would be even more impressive.I was especially hurt by all the crime. I just don’t run around beating people up, getting beat up, or having jail experiences.

  2. $685.60?! $685.50?! You have all that wickedness and you couldn’t corrupt me just a little, you know, just put me over $250?Thanks for nothing there Ex.

  3. Oh, wait, the only time I’ve ever given money to a stripper was with you.Okay, thanks for a tiny bit of corruption.

  4. Why is smoking pot twice the fine of doing acid?

    Yeah, why? And can you interpret all the "while drunk" questions as including "while tripping"? And why are there no questions about doing stuff while going to or at a demo? That test just isn’t geared to the behavior of us more mature folks.

  5. Oh, $360 and change. But it could have been soooo much higher if they’d only asked the right questions.nm, bad in an old school way

  6. $740.20If being in love with a stripper for the duration of a lap dance counts, then add 20 bucks.

  7. God damn. Knuck, I’m going to tell you the same thing I told Exador. I’ve known you how long?, you’re how bad?, and you haven’t corrupted me at all?At the least, I expect to get jumped the next time I come into the Mothership.

  8. "And why are there no questions about doing stuff while going to or at a demo? That test just isn’t geared to the behavior of us more mature folks."Possibly the most unintentionally funny thing I’ve heard today.

  9. I’m not so good on the numbers. That’s why they put me in the dumb kids class in Math in high school. Dee duh dee…I was and still am Queen Nerdette.

  10. I did pretty good on the sex stuff, but the law breaking stuff did me in. I haven’t ever vandalized anything or beaten anyone up or been to jail. I’ve never forgotten a whole evening after drinking. I behave myself at work and I’ve never cheated on anyone (though I’ve been the person the cheater cheated with).So, yeah, I am pretty damn boring.

  11. So I used the fine totals at Blogaritas, are those the right ones? If they are, I am dangerously close to man contingent totals, $580.60. I guess if I had spent more time having sex with women that I worked with and considered best friends while at church and in jail I could have gotten a higher fine.(as a note I have not actually been in/or to jail–the policeman gave us 3 calls to find someone to come and get us, before he would transport us to jail).I have learned that a stripper will take checks if you run short of cash to stuff in his g-string. That check got cashed too!

  12. $310.60. I fall short (totally) in those same-sex categories. But if tequila had its own category, it would be much higher. It appears we have a lot of pool pee-ers here. Remind me never to go swimming with you people.

  13. Ummm. I got less than $100. Can we still be friends? And can somebody buy me some alcohol or drugs for pete’s sake?

  14. Peg — I was thinking the same thing! The 60 cents is a clear sign: kissing strangers and peeing in the pool. My total was $400.60. That time I went to work [drunk] at Six Flags helped my total considerably.

  15. Recovering Baptist, it’s clear that we’re going to have to break into a church, drop some acid, drink, and have sex while spray painting our names on the pews, run naked from the police (streaking and streaking in broad daylight), get arrested, kiss our arresting officer without asking him his name, and then have sex again once we get to jail.

  16. Ginger, I don’t have a blog.And if they had a fines for the things my generation used to do, and the ways we used to get caught, I’d likely be giving you a run for your money. So don’t feel bad. No mescaline, peyote, or hashish questions…. No sneaking into X-rated movies, back when there were such things and they took them seriously…. No having 6 cop cars stop you, hold guns on you, but finally not arrest you because they couldn’t find any drugs in the car (there weren’t any, but they wouldn’t believe it, because they knew most of us by sight, and usually we had some)…. No smoking pot in the bathroom, or passing joints around in class…. That test is ageist, I tell you.

  17. Oh, but Ginger, I forgot to mention that, though nm doesn’t have a blog, she is a Koufax award nominee for most awesome commenter, so other folks also recognize her awesomeness.

  18. Is this the part where I’m ashamed that I have only $85.50? Or maybe it should be $100.50. I’m not sure if the "having sex with your best friend" is really naughtiness in my case…given that I’ve only ever had sex with my best friend.

  19. Hmmm. I’ve become a little boring in the past few years. My total was $350.60 (most of which, sadly, was racked up in my teens and twenties! Ugh!). Looks like I need to have me some more fun!! Yipppieeeeeee!

  20. And could it be rockist as well? I’m not sure.

    That reminds me. They have no questions about sneaking into music shows without a ticket, people starting fights with you at shows, getting high/drunk at shows, nothing. It’s starting to occur to me that whoever put the fine list together actually has no life.

  21. Heehee, actually, ‘sex in a church’ is one I’m missing… (well, there was the case of a former-funeral-home-turned-nightclub — maybe that’s worth another $10?)

  22. I guess we’ll file this under "it’s always the quiet ones": $935.60Mother of God, man. I knew you’d been locked up, you said as much on your blog, but goodness.

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