If the Butcher hasn’t been home all night, who ate the cookies? Neverminding the other three mammals in my house, I know it wasn’t me, which leaves only the Ghosts of the Civil War, which leaves me with my first question.
I don’t mind if they want to hang out and use our can opener and eat our snack foods, but you’d think they could also pitch in on some of the chores.
Yes, if I had my way, naked libertarians would clean my bathroom and the Ghosts of the Civil War would do my dishes.
(Just to clarify, I’m assuming that the Butcher came home at some point, after I went to bed, ate the cookies, and went back out from which he’s yet to return. But if it is the Ghosts of the Civil War, that would be cool.)
Tiny Cat Pants 
I know someone who caught their Civil War ghost using the sander on the hardwood floors! At least, I think that’s how the story went. (They were renovating an older house, I think somewhere near you actually. This was several years ago.)
So you went with the naked libertarians? Be careful; you might find that they have argued for several hours about the floors inalienable right the be dirty, without any progress toward either the cleaning or the resolution of their issue.
I only wish I could motivate the Libertarians to come to my house and get naked! No, I had to settle for cleaning my own damn tub and doing my own dishes.