Do you mind if I call you Stace? It’s just usually the men that are interested in what’s going on in my cooter either get called some kind of cute name or "Doctor" or, if I’m lucky, "Doctor [Cute Name]" and I kind of like it that way. So, Stace it is.
Stace, thanks to Egalia, I’ve learned that you want to issue death certificates for aborted fetuses. While I think she makes a "legitimate" point for a pinko commie hippie liberal man-hating feminist who wants to overthrow the government and install Nancy Pelosi as president for life* when she points out that you’d be issuing death certificates for "people" who don’t have birth certificates, I think she’s neglected to ask you the most important question.
Stace, if life begins at conception, why do you only want to issue death certificates for fetuses that are medically aborted? Aren’t miscarried fetuses also dead? If a fertilized egg is a person, if it fails to make it from conception to birth alive for any reason, shouldn’t it get a death certificate? If a person comes into being in my reproductive tract and that person fails to implant itself on my uterus and is, instead, flushed out of my body with my menstrual blood, isn’t that person just as dead as the person you want to issue a death certificate for, who was aborted?
Well, isn’t it?
And, if it is just as dead, why aren’t you issuing death certificates for those blastocysts?
True, doctors estimate that between half and three-quarters of fertilized eggs, excuse me, people… between half and three quarters of people fail to implant in the uterus and are routinely lost without the uterus-carrier’s knowledge and so figuring out if a death has occurred is tricky.
But, since recognizing people’s deaths is so important to you, I’m sure you won’t mind helping the medical examiner examine every fertile woman’s menstrual blood. After all, along with the blood and the endometrial chunks, there could be a dead person who needs a death certificate. Surely, we owe it to humanity to make sure that no remains of dead people are just flushed down the toilet or taken out in the trash without some recognition by the state of what’s been lost.
And so, I eagerly await word from you. Shall I send my used tampons directly to you at your home or would you prefer them sent to you care of the state capitol, and if so, do you need them in any particular special container? If you do find a person among the tampons and pads, will you be burying it or cremating it? And will I be responsible for any of those costs?
Eagerly awaiting your reply,
*Not all of these things are true. I was just on a
**A day will come when I learn to spell and on that day, I imagine, I’ll become invincible.