An anonymous source has sent me this chicken salad recipe from Representative Campfield. Enjoy!
INGREDIENTS
- 8 chickens
- 1 tablespoon mayonnaise
- 2 tablespoons prepared Dijon-style mustard
- 1 teaspoon dried dill weed
- 1 teaspoon paprika
- 1/2 red onion, minced
- salt and pepper to taste
DIRECTIONS
Place chickens in a saucepan and cover with cold water. Bring water to a
boil; cover, remove from heat, and let chickens stand in hot water for 10
to 12 minutes. Remove from hot water, cool, peel and chop.
In a large bowl, combine the chicken, mayonnaise, mustard, dill, paprika,
onion and salt and pepper. Mash well with a fork or wooden spoon.
Serve on bread as a sandwich or over crisp lettuce as a salad.
Tiny Cat Pants 
Well, I don’t like my chicken or tuna salads too mushy, but 1 tablespoon of mayo for 8 chickens is a bit too dry for my taste.And cooking a whole chicken for only 10-12 minutes? Sure, if you enjoy salmonella. I’ll pass. P.S. That’s gotta be one bigass saucepan to hold eight chickens.
Peg! And here I thought I was being so funny, making a joke about how the man who makes no distinction between a fertilized egg and a baby would make no distinction between a chicken and an egg. But maybe it’s only funny to me.Damn. And I thought that was one of my better political entries.
You stole that from my making marinara with little yellow flowers, didn’t you?
Oh, no! Where did you say that? I must go see the funny.
No, I’m a dope. My head is thick with sick stuff, and the finer, nuanced points are lost on me lately. Back to napping now…Though that recipe as written could surely cause some miscarriages, which he could then track and issue death certificates to.
Peg, your sick snark delights me. But I will still hope that you get well soon.
Way back in an argument with Ed, nm talked about making marinara with little yellow flowers (biologically indistinguishable from a tomato, a tomato-to-be if you will).I had the same idea as Pegg. "Jebeezus, bloody chicken and dill. Yuck. Oh wait, there must be a joke in here I’m not getting…."
Ah, well, then I’m prepared to give all credit to NM. I might not have consciously remembered it, but clearly it stuck with me.Perhaps, if she likes, she can be my anonymous source.
I would love to have retroactively have sent you that tip. But since it would never in the world have occured to me so rework it so cleverly, I prolly shouldn’t claim it. Plus, I hate dill so if I had been your anonymous source I would have taken it out of the recipe.
Wait, no! It has to be *called* chicken salad, but be made with eggs.
Um, I didn’t mean to be bossy, I just got excited about Campfield Chicken Salad (now with eggs!). :)
Well, you might think there’s some clear distinction between a chicken and an egg, Rachel, but I can assure you that Representative Campfield sees none.
Hee.
EIGHT chickens!?! ANd only one tbsp of mayo & mustard? Can’t be. That sounds really, really nasty.
Told you I was stupid. I still don’t get the nuance.
Mack, Campfield believes that a human life is a human being at every stage of development. I was attempting to show how no one can hold that belief with any consistency through taking this simple egg salad recipe and changing all the "egg"s to "chicken"s. After all, the difference between a tasty meal and a gross life-threatening one is precicely the difference between an egg and a chicken.
oh.
I think it just must not have been that funny, since no one got it right away.
Do you have any other jokes you learned in Home Ec?
I didn’t get it.I will say, though, that eggs used in cooking are not fertilised by the rooster–having myself had to candle eggs as a kid on the farm. So there is a slight difference between the two analogies.
I have to admit I didn’t get it either—I can’t stand eggs, so I didn’t recognize the recipe. . .now that i get it, though, i’m highly amused :-D
-pedant hat on-i think if you’d said, like, "omelet," it would’ve been clearer. cause on account of, there -is- such a thing as chicken salad, also."you can’t make an omelet without breaking a few chickens"or, the charming practice of Easter Chicken decoration and hiding.