Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud

1.  When I got home last night, I had an email from John Edwards with the subject line, “Time to End the War” and my immediate thought was, “Wow, that’d be really cool if he were going to say something like ‘Things have gotten out of hand with the death threats and such and so even though Marcotte and McEwen no longer work for me, I will be contacting [groups x,y, and z] and demanding they call off these vile attacks.  People are angry and I respect that, but death threats have crossed a line that must not be tolerated.'”

Alas, no.  He wants to end the actual war war.

2.  Y’all I got a phone call from someone last night who was all nervous about talking to me because, apparently, there are some folks under the delusion that I have my shit together and just stroll through the streets of Nashville, flowers blooming in my wake, beat poets moved to write snappy poems as I pass by, etc. etc.

That kind of shit is funny just in general, considering, for example, how long I’ve been friends with the Man from GM (over half my life) and how often I’ve ever called him (probably less than ten times) because I’m sure I’m not going to have anything to say.  I rarely call anyone. 

Why?  Because I assume they have other stuff they’d rather do than talk to me.

I don’t know.  It’s just weird when people articulate to you feeling towards you the way that you feel about the world.

It tickled me a great deal.

3.  The coming war with Iran.

I’m sorry.  Everything about that just makes me laugh so damn hard.  I just keep thinking, what if this is finally the time when Bush is being honest with us and he’s so soured everyone on him that no one will listen?

4.  And last, but not least, the funniest thing of all yesterday.

In the comments over at Kleinheider’s, Terry Frank is all like “Campfield made Drudge.  Campfield made Drudge.”  And Abramson says, “Terry, big deal. Blooming idiots get in the newspaper all the time. I mean, there’s even a newspaper that publishes your stuff. Can’t be that hard.” to which Frank replies, “Roger, don’t you have to clean out your purse?”

Oh, that Terry, she’s quite the wit.  I’m sorry, it’s making me laugh right now.  A woman insinuating there’s something wrong with a man carrying a purse.

It’s worth just articulating why this is supposed to be an insult: A man who has a purse is like a woman and it is an insult to say a man is like a woman because being womanly is bad.

What makes it funny is that the subtext of Abramson’s post is “I have strong feelings of dislike for you, Ms. Frank.” and Frank thinks her response is, “Oh, fuck you, Roger” but really, her response is, “Yeah, well I hate me, too, and think that you’d be insulted to be seen as like me in some way.”

That just tickles the shit right out of me.

Sarcastro, the right wing here in Tennessee needs you!  Can’t you freelance yourself out as an insult coach, help these poor folks hone their wit into something that doesn’t bludgeon them first and their opponent second?



22 thoughts on “Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud

  1. Funnily enough, I’ve often thought that one of the reasons men can never find anything (keys, wallet, etc.) while women seem to have it together all the time is precisely because of the "purse gap." I’m not advocating the idea of men carrying purses, but it would be interesting to see how much more organized our lives would be, espcially in the morning as we head out the door, if we had one friggin’ place to put everything.

  2. Roger, are you being serious? Every woman I have ever known has no clue where anything is in her purse. In fact, it tickles me that regardless of how large a woman’s bag might be, she will inevitably fill it up to the point that the car keys sink to the bottom, and are impossible to find. Look, I got nothing against hand-bags for guys, hell thats what a briefcase is, right? But any guy that has a hard time keeping up with his wallet has other issues. I mean, it goes into your ass-pocket until you go to bed, when it should go whereever you keep your keys, and cell phone. Congrats on getting Frank all riled up, though. I’ve left her love messages on her blog, she never responds.

  3. Mack –Not talking about the stuff in the purse. Once it’s in there, I agree, it’s like a black hole. But at least they know it’s know it’s in there somewhere."I mean, it goes into your ass-pocket until you go to bed, when it should go whereever you keep your keys, and cell phone."Well, geez, now you sound like my wife. But, with two kids, God help me if I put anything down anywhere. :)

  4. "now you sound like my wife." Ouch. I’ve been reduced to nagging. Well, when you have been a atay at home Dad for as long as I have….we’ll just see.FWIW, I constantly misplace things, cellphone, keys, pocketknife, even a kid occassionally, but, my wallet?!! God forbid. Thats why I said what I did about your ass pocket. It’s designed to hold your wallet for you all day. Why is this important to me? I have no idea…

  5. Mack –You know what the problem with the wallet is though? Friggin’ uncomfortable to sit on, at least in my case. maybe just my bony ass, if I can talk about such things without an Andrew Sullivan referece being made (’cause, you know, gay men talk about asses a lot). :)

  6. I just want to point out that if women’s clothing were properly designed, we wouldn’t generally need purses, either. My husband has some classy Italian suits that he can’t fit into any more has outgrown, that I very occasionally wear. They have pockets! Lots of them! In places where the garment doesn’t bulge when you put things in them, too. This is almost never the case with women’s clothing.

  7. I wish I could show Mack my fabulously organized bag. i’m not even kidding. It’s amazing, but it did take years for me to get the system right. There’s even a tether with a key ring on the end that makes it REALLY easy to always get my keys, and I always do hook them there. I used to hate purses, but now I can barely go anywhere without my entire big bag.

  8. I do like the man bag all full of books and mix tapes and random crap that never ends up in my purse. My purse is full of receipts, pennies, and rouge tampons. I don’t lose my keys in it, because I keep my keys in my coat pocket.Exador, yours are the only handsome balls we talk about around here.Sarcastro, you need to get over and help Terry Frank find her funny again.

  9. Ginger, I think if you’re polite enough to carry any man’s bag, he’s not going to point out your faux pas based on his race. But I could be wrong.

  10. Wow, I suddenly feel much more attractive!I’ve never carried a wallet in my life – used to always try to keep everything in my pockets.Then I discovered manbags about 5 years ago when I got my first Pocket PC and needed something to carry it in. Now I’m hooked.My friends call it my "murse" – you know, man purse. Now that I know it’s a babe magnet I’ll make sure to carry it more conspicuously.

  11. Ginger, I think if you’re polite enough to carry any man’s bag, he’s not going to point out your faux pas based on his race. But I could be wrong.

    B., isn’t it just like you to play the race card… :) …I was referring to the color of the bag, not the color of the man! lolololol!!!

  12. Burbank –Well, for chrissakes don’t get a latte at Starbucks. You’re a hopeless case at that point. Since, you know, nobody but a wuss would go to Starbucks.

  13. Only because it was such a strange comment for someone to make. I’m still trying to get my arms around it. I know I’m living in the far-left socialist enclave of Nashville, Tennessee, where we have–I guess–about 14 or so actual liberals who live here–so perhaps my perception is skewed, but as far as I can tell Starbucks is a fairly mainstream affair. I don’t know. Maybe Maxwell House is still the java of choice in Clinton. Or Folgers. No accounting for taste I suppose.

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