I’m in a Snit, Big Time

I don’t even want to get into it except to say that I spent the most egregious afternoon of my professional career today.

I’m not going to blog about work because I need my job, but let’s say that I was hired to take care of horses.  My duties include keeping them fed, watered, and free from shit.  And then I was told nothing else about it. 

Then, imagine that, after eight years, I discovered that most people remove the horses from the stalls before shoveling the shit out with a shovel instead of attempting to dodge the horse while scooping it out by hand.

Y’all, I feel hopeless.  I feel like I have just both fucked my life up beyond repair and been played for a fool.  And I just can’t see how to fix this.

I have half a mind to just not get on that plane tomorrow, but I would miss my dog.

I’m just saying, though, I can understand why people do it, just walk away from their lives.

I would rather do anything else in the world than feel like I was being made an ass of every damn day.

Y’all, I think I’d be an asset to anyone who knew what to do with me.  I’m bright.  I learn things quickly.  I’m curious.  People feel at ease around me and I put off an aura of confidence.  I speak well in public.  I write well.  I think I’m a good employee.  I don’t sew dissent around the office.  I work hard.

But god damn, I feel so low.  I can’t even tell you.

Maybe I’ll just go to bed.

I’m tired of listening to myself complain about this.

This just sucks so much. 

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Google Holds the Keys to Its Own Destruction

You may remember that Google partnered with a bunch of libraries to violate the copyright of publishers.  And that Google, because it is so ginormous and because the idea of being able to search libraries’ contents on the internet is so awesome, many folks were torn.

It is a good idea.

They implemented it in just about the most immoral way possible and tried to make up for it by letting publishers opt in and making their books searchable on the web.  Why this makes up for it is that it’s a good idea; publishers just wanted to have some control over copyrighted material.

Well, it turns out that Google really wants publishers to put their material AT Google and that Google seems very nervous when publishers start talking about just posting book content on the web at their own sites, because Google would index that AND publishers would have control over it.

 “Oh, but we have so much server space…”

And server space is getting cheaper all the time.

I think it’s about it get interesting for Google. 

A List of Types of People I Can Not Keep My Hands Off

1.  Soft, round women with soft lips and wicked smiles.

2.  Really androgynous looking women who are wearing aprons of any sort.

3.  Men above the age of 35.

 Let us spend a moment discussing the wonders of the men who are older than 35.  Let us list their good points.

1.  Cute little eye crinkles.

2.  They bring me drinks.

3.  They beg me not to fire them when I suggest that, when I’m rich, I will buy their employer, just for shits and giggles.

4.  Their faces are very interesting.

5.  They either smell really bad or really nice.

6.  Cute little eye crinkles. 

Ha, I said that already.

So, you may ask why I’m sitting here in my hotel room rather than letting cute guys buy me more drinks while I dashingly and flirtatiously offer to sing songs in their honor.

I blame Malia, who thinks it’s wrong to lead married men astray.

Thanks a lot, Malia.  My wanting for you to think well of me meant I spent the majority of my evening listening to bitter Floridians describe how a Jeb presidency is practically inevitable.

Depressing talk about Jeb Bush… Cute eye crinkles… Depressing talk about Jeb Bush…

Fine, depressing talk about Jeb Bush.

I hope you’re happy.