The Butcher Totally Wants You To Pick Sides

So, Saturday, I took the world’s most awesome hot shower, which miraculously lasted me through a couple of bluesy renditions of “Last Train to Clarksville” and that Don Williams song that goes, “Lord, I hope this day is good./ I’m feeling empty and misunderstood. /I should be thankful, Lord I know I should…” etc.

After, I came downstairs and threw my laundry in the wash. 

Shortly, the Butcher goes upstairs to take a shower and comes down all pissed off.

“Damn it, B., I bet you never tell the internet about this kind of shit.  Why don’t you get on your computer and tell all your bloggy friends about how you left me no water pressure and no hot water.  Then they won’t think you’re so awesome.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll just remind them how you abandoned me at the airport and how Smiley had to come rescue me.”

“And they’ll see right through that emotional manipulation, B.  Your internet friends are smarter than you give them credit for.”

“Don’t drag them into this.”

19 thoughts on “The Butcher Totally Wants You To Pick Sides

  1. Grown men that live with their sisters will sometimes find themselves without hot water/water pressure. Sounds like the Butcher needs to get his ass out of bed a little earlier on Saturdays.

  2. Having a wife and two kids has taught me one important thing about showers and hot water:

    You snooze, you lose.

    Now, if you had FLUSHED while he was showering, I’d be on his side. That’s just mean.

  3. Kate O’! You were my first non-spam comment spam! Congratulations. I freed you so there shouldn’t be any problem from here on out, I hope.

    Y’all crack me up. I love it.

  4. A poorly played hand, young man. I’m ok that you are a slacker, kid, but you can bet that if I had been using my sister’s car all weekend, I’d have been at the airport early, with a full tank and a curious new car smell…

    Just sayin.

  5. Indeed. If he’d wanted a shower so badly, he should’ve gotten up earlier. And besides, tossing your clothes in the wash probably did far more to take his hot water than your actual shower. (Unless you shower like I did when I was younger, in which case he’s just lucky you left him water, period)

    Hee. Your brother tried to tattle on you to the internet. That’s pretty silly.

  6. Well, did he tell you “I’m gonna get up at X o’clock, and so I’ll shower around X:30”? Or communicate at all about showering prior to the fact? Is he asking you to be a mind-reader? Isn’t that kind of buying into stereotyped sex-role stuff? Don’t you think that waiting to shower is fit punishment for that particular kind of sexism?

    And what about Naomi?

  7. Well, I’m still here remembering busted car doors, failed airport pickups, job stress, etc.

    Then again he did buy you M&Ms that one time.

  8. Poor Butcher! That’ll teach him to rely on you guys to take his side. W., I think he was merely trying to sew the seeds of discord as I certainly talk about y’all all the time like you are genius superheroes with lovely genitalia.

  9. Best be careful or someone will start asking for your NES bills and accusing you of hypocrisy…

  10. “Grown men that live with their sisters… ”

    Bridgett, are you saying that he has less of a right to complain because “Grown Men” should be independent income earners? Are you setting a different standard for men, as breadwinners, then say, if Aunt B’s little sister lived with her?

  11. I thought the important part of that sentence was the “live with their sisters” bit, rather than the “grown men” bit. Anyone living with siblings and a shared water source is going to have tiffs about the shower.\

    (Unless they’re rich and/or have those really cool tankless water heaters – or better, a hybrid tank/perpetual heater)

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