I Believe You Have a Right to Rock the Boat

I like it when Slartibartfast comes around, if only because he sees things so much differently than I do that it makes me think.

But today?  Today I want to go over to Slarti’s house, grab him by the arm, and take him around town kicking ass and taking names.

Sadly, we would have to start by tying Slarti to a chair and beating him with a hundred feminists and I am not strong enough to lift a hundred feminists.

Shoot, I’m not even strong enough to lift myself. 

But let’s not get distracted by my problems.  We’re talking about how much Slarti needs him some feminist indoctrination.

Ready, Slarti?

Repeat after me:

What I do has value and I have the right to expect that my value be recognized even if I don’t conform to strict gender categories and societal expectations.

I do have the right to expect the world to make room for me and the right to be angry when it won’t.

See, today Slarti writes about how, even though he likes to do domestic things, he feels excluded from participating, as a parent and domestic-task-do-er, in groups that call themselves, say, Tennessee Moms.

And he’s right, that he is being excluded and in an unfair bullshit way.

But, does he start up his own group?  Call the Tennessean on their bullshit gender stereotyping? Write a post about what bullshit it is that his own talents and skills are overlooked just because he’s a man?

No.

He writes a post about how, since he’s always been “different,” he’s learned to suck it up and accept that the resources he needs are never going to be available to him because he doesn’t fit in.

Slarti, I know you’re a Christian, so cover your ears at this next part, but what the fuck?

No.

You have value and the world should make room for you and the fact that it doesn’t sucks.  A person might have to make his or her peace with that, but you shouldn’t accept it.

7 thoughts on “I Believe You Have a Right to Rock the Boat

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  2. I really appreaciate the encouragement – I really do. And a link from Aunt B will certainly double my hits for the day, and I appreciate that as well.

    But for someone who prides himself on his communication skills, I really sucked at it this time.

    My point, and maybe I needed more coffee before I started writing, was not that rocking the boat is a bad thing. I would be a horrible Christian if I said that. I firmly believe in “stirring it up”, as an old preacher friend of mine used to say.

    What I was trying to express is that a person should just go about his business, whether it rocks the boat or not, without making a spectacle of himself. I’ve discussed this with Kat before: I try to keep my curses to mild ones, but if I have to stand on a soapbox and shout to the world “I DO NOT CURSE!”, then I’ve managed to defeat my own purpose in not cursing. I want people to notice without me saying so (even though I just did) :)

    I think we’re just disagreeing about style. And that’s cool – it takes all kinds. If I actually had time, I might start a Daddy blog. What I would not do, is announce to the world, “I’m starting a Daddy Blog because my group is being discrimiated against!”

    Maybe that’s what I’m trying to say. One can DO something about what’s wrong with the world, without being perpetually pissed off about it.

    I still think I’m not expressing myself clearly, though. I don’t know what’s the matter with me today.

  3. There seems to be a lot of that going around, Slarti. I haven’t been able to say what I want to say in weeks.

    For what it’s worth, I agree with the both of you. Rocking the boat is good; doing it in a way that doesn’t compromise what you’re trying to do or draw unnecessary attention to yourself is even better.

    And Aunt B? That line about beating someone with a hundred feminists? Is priceless. *giggles* I think that’s the first time I’ve smiled for real in days.

  4. Ah, Slarti, I see. I do agree that a person should do what they do whether it rocks the boat or not. I just didn’t want you to feel “Oh, well, that’s the way things are, nothing I can do about it.”

    Mag, I hadn’t put it together with the Donnell Alexander quote, but yeah, exactly.

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