It has become all “God, families suck” around here and so I propose a listing of ten things/memories about my crazy-ass clan of ne’er-do-wells that are awesome.
Let’s get started.
1. I love how the Butcher and I can be silently watching TV together and I’ll say something like, “God, that reminds me of pancakes” and he’ll say, “I always wondered what Clinton saw in Flowers” and we’ll both laugh and nod and go back to the TV show and know exactly what the other person meant.
2. I love how my Grandma A. always used to have tiny graham cracker pie crusts in her pantry, four to a package, and we would whoop up some chocolate pudding, put it in the pies, and she and my cousin M. and I would eat them as a special treat, just us girls.
3. I love how my nephews act like riding in the car with me is the biggest treat since sliced bread, even though I know it’s in part because I let them eat candy and drink pop.
4. I like how anyone in my family will break out into song for no reason, especially my dad’s amazingly rocking version of “There is a Fountain Filled with Blood” on the piano. I mean, he does the song on the piano, not that they have a fountain filled with blood on the piano.
5. I love how easy it is to scare my mom and how she screams with her whole self, just this unchecked “blaheghah!”
6. I like that they took us camping every summer.
7. I love how my Uncle B. always talked to us like we were adults and always listened carefully to what we were saying.
8. I loved teaching the Butcher how to drive.
9. I love how the recalcitrant brother is willing to stay up late or get up early just to make sure he has time to talk to you one on one.
10. Mrs. Wigglebottom. The dog of my heart and the dog of my soul. If not for everything that is fucked up about my family, she would have never come into my life and I would be much poorer for it. I’m thinking of changing my religion from the veneration of my ancestors to the veneration of the dogs of my ancestors, because, no matter how fucked up my family, they’ve always had awesome dogs.