As you may have gathered from my drunken post on Monday, I had an enormous panic attack at UIC. Crying, shaking, ridiculousness. I wouldn’t mind them so much except they scare the shit out of me. My brain is all “Everything’s fine, just (in this case) step off the elevator” but I have no control over my body, which would be fine if my body were just standing still, but it’s the having no control over your body and finding your body doing something you don’t want to do–like push the down button on the elevator instead of getting off–that terrifies me.
And I feel stupid when it happens. So stupid and embarrassed.
But that’s why I love my friend M. When she saw me, she hugged me and immediately asked what was wrong because I still was upset and shaking at five that afternoon. We went to this wine bar/restaurant and had an awesome time. She was just telling me how weird it is when she’s recognized in public (she’s an actor) when some guy who worked there was all like, “M.? Oh my god. Let me get you a drink!”
I told you most everything cool about yesterday. Today was more of the same. I’ve had a headache for two days and so I stopped off at Target to buy some hose and some acetaminophen, but by the time I got home, my headache was gone. I took two anyway, just because I went to the effort.
I’m half tempted to call my dad and ask him what he’s having for dinner, but I won’t.