My mom just called to tell me she’d been thinking about me. She wondered what I did at the wedding since I was there by myself and didn’t really know anyone and she also wanted to tell me that the best thing I can probably do in my current situation is to just change my attitude.
Oh, Mom. I know you mean well, but dang. First, I don’t think that just sucking it up and changing my attitude is actually a viable strategy to get through life. I think that’s the kind of thing that would have me becoming suicidal. And I wonder, how do we know which people are supposed to bend and accommodate and compromise and continually change their attitudes and which people get to decide to actually do things. And how is it that my parents ended up being so passive?
Still, as mad as it makes me, I’m also kind of tickled to find that my mom is mulling things over. I just wish she were mulling them over in a way that allowed for me to make some waves.
As for the other thing, I didn’t know how to answer her. I’m not lonely. I didn’t sit at the wedding thinking, “Gosh, everyone here is with someone and I am alone. Lord, how my life sucks!” I was busy being in the wedding and dancing with the folks who were dancing and talking with the folks who weren’t. I don’t feel like something’s missing. I get on with my life.
What other choice is there?
I don’t want to be an old maid. I don’t want to sit around being bitter that no man ever chose me. I don’t want to be the woman hiding in the house with my eight cats pissed that my life didn’t work out how I wanted it to. I don’t want to be desperate until my desperation turns to bitterness.
I’d rather just enjoy myself and have a good time and not worry about it. In this case, I do think it’s a great deal about one’s attitude. So, bless my mom’s heart, I think she’s got it backwards. She wants to fret about things that don’t bother me and for me to learn to accept the things that do.