The Lesson I Have Learned from the Cats

It is important to wake up so that one can go to the bathroom, eat a little something, and get back to the business of napping.  I have to say that I’m feeling tremendously better than I was before my nap, which is disconcerting, because I still feel bad and so I guess I’d been misjudging exactly how awful I felt in the first place.

In other news of a disconcerting sort, there’s only caffeine-free Diet Dr Pepper in the fridge.  I swear, every time I hear some “Christian” numbnuts go on about how he cannot help but hate gay people because the Bible is making him,  I think, if you’re going to spend so much time harping on an “abomination,” why not task yourself with the abomination of caffeine-free Diet Dr Pepper?

Clearly, some things threaten the fabric of our culture more than others and I see nothing more obviously fabric-threatening than Diet Dr Pepper with no caffeine.

God damn!  Where is the Butcher when I need him to rectify shit like this?  Oh, yes, he thinks I’m at work.

7 thoughts on “The Lesson I Have Learned from the Cats

  1. I thought I was coming down with the flu this morning — huge headache, sick to my stomach — until I noticed that I had accidentally made decaf coffee for breakfast. Honest to God, who buys this shit and puts it in my cabinets? (I’m guessing my mother-in-law, who is all about destroying the corporeal self in order to save it.)

    Mercifully, my husband saved the day by bringing me a mocha the size of my headache.

  2. I can’t help but think that caffeine-free non-diet Mountain Dew might almost be worse. I mean, isn’t caffeine the point of Mt. Dew??? And if you get rid of the caffeine, but leave the calories…that just seems so stupid! I feel your pain.

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