It’s grandefille’s niece’s birthday today and I am madly in love with this photo, which seems to me to be one of those photos that, the longer you look at it, the more you think about.
We were watching USA, I think, the other day and they had some promo on there for the WWE and some hot woman was talking about how watching other hot women in tiny clothing and big ole fake titties roll around on a matt made her feel empowered.
I laughed so hard I about fell off the big green couch. The Butcher didn’t see what was so funny.
Clearly, I should have dropped an email… ooo… a “shemail” to Lindsey. She would have appreciated the Twisty-ness of it.
Tiny Cat Pants 
Yeah, plastic titted women in hot pants and tank tops getting paid to “wrestle” for a screaming horde of men (while other people view the spectacle on TV) is pretty much the textbook definition of empowerfulness.
You are so kind, B. Thank you for your words.
This photo makes me both cry and smile every time I look at it; she is so very small and the world is so very huge. I’m just glad I’m big enough to stand between her and some of it until she’s big enough to stand on her own.
That, by the way, makes me feel empowered.
Apparently Dora underpants make Baby Fishmouth feel empowered. Every time she puts them on, she shouts, “DoRAAAAAAAAAA!” and runs through the house pumping her fists. I guess it’s the same principle as us grown-ups wearing good (and hawt) foundation garments. If your panties fit right, you feel pretty good about the day. (That would go for boys, too, I’d think.)
Well, that settles it. I gotta get me some of those Dora underpants.
if your panties fit right, you feel pretty good about the day.
Is that the secret?!? Cause I’ve got to tell you I’ve got about 14 pairs of panties. And NONE of them fit very well. And I’ve had a lot of downer days.
You know, I think you may be on to something.
Kat, I’m with you about the panties. WARNING: GENTLEMEN MAY AVERT THEIR EYES … mostly because they’re such sensitive plants, sometimes.
One of the reasons panties don’t fit me well is because of my body shape. Not just that there’s a lot of it, but because I have more depth – front-to-back shape – than the majority of panties allow for. In other words, the crotch is too short. I found a brand of panties that fit well at, believe it or not, Frederick’s of Hollywood. I buy their lace boypants in XXL, and they don’t cut at the waist or bind at the leg, nor do they bifurcate me further than God and Nature originally intended. And the crotch is cotton-lined, too. At $4 a pair, they’re more reasonable than a lot of other places. And they don’t leave VPL, either. If you like, I’ll look up the style number.
I also like the fact that Frederick’s offers its clothes in plus sizes. Imagine! Pretty lingerie (or just pretty underwear) for fat women as well as thin ones! What a concept!
And yes, underwear that doesn’t fit well can be a downer, to say the least. Talk about your split personalities.
I don’t have that problem with underwear, but I swear to god, buying pads is an exercise in patience and futility. I can never get those fuckers situated right. Like any good feminist, I have looked at my vagina and it doesn’t appear to be 18 inches wide, but I swear, when I’m on my period, stuff goes everywhere as if there is some gaping rotating randomly firing hole between the outside world and a bloody eternity between my legs. I believe I’d be better served just sleeping naked in the tub.
Ha, just call me the comment thread killer!
What more WAS there to say after that, really?
Aunt B, why don’t you switch from pads to the cup-style device that’s offered for campers, athletes, etc.? It’s cleanable, reusable, and because of the way it’s worn, you won’t get spillover. http://www.mooncupsandkeepers.com/questions.html
More dash, less splash.
Oh! The lace boyshort seems to be on sale: http://fredericks.com/product/lace+boy+short+panty.do?keyword=lace+boy+short&sortby=shortdesc&asc=true
Regardless of how it looks on the model, on me it comes up both higher (but below the navel) and less weirdly cut across the leg. Honestly, it’s just Pretty Nice Underwear.
*giggles*
I’m late. But I looove this quote: “nor do they bifurcate me further than God and Nature originally intended.” La Bella Donna, that’s genius!
(The squeamish may stop reading now)
Buying pads just takes a bit of doin’, that’s all. I like the ones with wings, because once you’ve got them where they need to be, they just don’t move. There are also a number of alternatives. I can’t use anything inserted, as my cooter prefers to keep to itself. (Hear that, Nuva Ring people? It does not stay where it’s put in all women! *shakes fist to the heavens* Even when inserted by a properly trained medical practitioner with light, speculum, and heaven-only-knows-what-else.) I hear they’re useful for others, though. And if you’re really worried about things getting anywhere, there’s always Lunapanties. The whole thing’s a pad! And they’re stylish! I’ve never tried them, but I’ve always thought the idea was sound.
Ha! Bella, we had the same ideas.
While I heartily endorse the idea of sleeping naked in the tub for all people, all the time (with the appropriate comfy pillow and blankie, of course), I can also recommend Always Thin Ultra Maxi Pads (overnight, with wings). They cover you from belly button to tailbone if necessary, without being bulky. Make sure it’s the package with the light-orange wrap on the pads; otherwise you’ll get the diaper-like ones.
I even more strongly endorse hysterectomy. But that’s just me. [g]
Second the endorsement of the hysterectomy by grandefille.
Do we have a third?
Heh. Short of a hysterectomy, any of the long-term hormonal options that induce amenorrhea are nice. I liked Depo, until that whole bone-loss thing came out. Mirena’s about 50/50, but it definitely shortens things. You can do low-dose ones (like the pill) serially; there’s a decent amount of literature arguing that you don’t have to pause for a period, medically… people just do it for comfort. If you’re not comfortable with the chemical screwing aroud, though, hysterectomy would probably work nicely.
Can you consider that an eviction of the Uterus Troll? After all, it’s the forking that’s the problem…
I love my Keeper. It stays in place, unlike those dastardly Instead cups.
I’m with grandefille on the Always Ultra-Thin Overnights. Those are the best.
I’ve got a hysto in my future here, but there’s something so final about it that I keep putting it off.
Third on the hysterectomy. There’s nothing like blood pooling in your boots and a near-death experience to make you appreciate the finality of it.
The possible problem I can perceive with pads (!) is the probability of their shifting, regardless of wings. Yes, shifting because they are attached to panties. Panties shift: pad shifts.
However, the winged pads are worth your while (!!). If you are feeling poor or penny-pinched, and have a passel of pads stockpiled, you can cheat:
Take the pad. Position optimally on panties. Take sewing needle loaded with thread, and baste into position. Remove, discard, and replace pads as needed (not really easy if you’re traveling, in a HoJo’s restaurant or a port-a-potty, and without the Magic Sewing Kit. Therefore: travel with safety pins, and use those. In fact, it occurs to me you can probably skip the whole sew-it-in step and just safety-pin, but sewing is less lumpy and more controllable, and doesn’t get you wanded in airports.) Then maybe check the Winged Wonders.
I expect if I hadn’t been spayed, I’d be looking into those wonderful Once a Quarter pills; the prospect of enduring the mess, “discomfort” and inconvenience three or four times a year is a heck of a lot better than three weeks off, one week on, endlessly.
those wonderful Once a Quarter pills
Speaking as a person who has had less-than-wonderful experiences with those pills, I have to say that they aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be.
Of course I’m not exactly the benchmark for feminine plumbing here, but I had more problems with the pills then I did without them.
Can’t believe I’m chiming in here, but if any of you are close to menopause, my partner saw a doctor at Vandy that put her on some drops, that is, she rubs a drop between her wrists, presto! no more hotflashes and her periods all but went away. (she’s pre-menopausal).
I’m going away now.
You can use regular pills and skip periods as well – you don’t have to have “special” pills.
You can use regular pills and skip periods as well – you don’t have to have “special” pills.
I’m not meaning to turn this into a “bitch about my medication” moment, but I can’t resist the opportunity to bitch about my medication.
The pills that were supposed to stop my periods altogether instead gave me a two-day period once a week with continuous cramps.
Don’t know why that was. But I was decidedly NOT a happy camper. The doctor’s office told me to “hang in there and we’ll get your system used to those pills yet.”
But surely six months of constant periods and cramps is too long to ‘hang in there’? Especially when the whole purpose was to reduce the pain I already had, not to prevent pregnancy.
Sorry.
That was off-track. Didn’t mean to go there.
Am I the only one here (always excepting the men) who didn’t always hate her periods?
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Heh. I didn’t mind them too much when I started, nm, but I have definitely grown to. My family has quite the history… I guess I’m just lucky I didn’t wind up like my mom. When she was younger, hers used to be so bad that she’d faint in school, or just walking around. My grandmother never had much to say about it, as she was one of those women who went in for something routine and came out without a uterus*. That’s why my mom is an only child.
I liked that they stopped with the Depo, because it helped keep the mood swings under control. It wasn’t the big wild things they show on TV, but random assaults of feeling that didn’t have any roots, or the sudden certainty that I was going to burst into tears in the middle of class, even though I didn’t think I was sad. And, you know, no mess, wheee! But I could have lived with it if it were mostly like that.
[Long history of trying a bunch of different birth control methods redacted]
… but then I got my Mirena, and yuck. I mean, on the one hand, I love it… five years before I have to think about it again. On the other hand, as I’ve said before, my cooter (and adjoining real estate) isn’t happy about sharing its space, and continues to tell me in no uncertain terms. Things got more regular, but more painful, and a whole lot of the rest of my body/life continues to be kind of out of whack. At the moment, it’s the best option… but I’m really waiting for Implanon to become widely available.
Heh. It’s so weird to be talking about this openly. I’m tickled that this is a cool enough space for women to talk about their bits without feeling embarrassed. I keep wondering when someone’s going to poke his head in and have a fit or something, though.
* Not that something was wrong with her. Going to the doctor as an educated black female activist in the middle of the racially charged 60s was, er, a bit more dangerous then than it is now, I think.
I wondered what was going on here…a tiny post that starts off about a little girl’s picture ends up with 20+ comments about menstuation and feminine hygiene products. Only at TCP!
Me, I highly recommend early, natural menopause (at 42) as the best possible solution to these pesky issues. I’m like one of the men now when it comes to that, listening patiently about some shit that doesn’t any longer concern me. It was a happy, happy day when I gave away my remaining products to my friends. Does that make me a bad feminist? If so, then I’ll say that I enjoyed every bloody minute of it all!
Am I the only one here (always excepting the men) who didn’t always hate her periods?
Well, I hate them, but only because they’re abnormal. I don’t think I’d hate them if I didn’t regularly need to be rushed to the emergency room for morphine while menstruating.
I kinda missed having the Mom & Rudy Huxtable shopping and lunch experience of celebration surrounding it all. I would love to have had that because, frankly, that’s why I am so hesitant to let go of my reproductive organs in spite of it all. I DO think they’re a sort of seat of power and a source of celebration.
People do look at me strangely when I don’t say “why yes, of COURSE I’ll go get it all carved out!”
It’s like having an old AMC Pacer. You know it may be a clunker. It’s a total piece of shit and a pain to get parts. And way too expensive. And always breaking down. But FUCK! It’s an AMC PACER!!!! And how cool is that?!? You don’t wanna get rid of it just because it’s annoying.
Kat, I know of your circumstances and you have good and sufficient reasons to not want to get carved up (not that everyone else’s reasons aren’t good, too, whatever they may be, but I know yours). I also know why it was dismaying and not just … tedious … that the various prescriptions you were put on didn’t work the way you and the doctors hoped. And I can’t say “with glee” was my own reaction, either.
However (and I submit my experience as a Useful Lesson), when you do the right things and go to the doctors and change prescriptions and get the tests and spend a year and a half bleeding*, it is time to take Permanent Action. When what you pass on a regular basis should be baptized and buried, when you leave a trail from the bedroom to the bathroom that Moses should part, when you fill your boots with blood on more than one occasion, when you go through a Super Overnight pad in less than fifteen minutes – then it’s time. No kidding, ladies. Or you will be saying to the Grim Reaper, “At least all my parts are intact!” If you’ve never had any, be advised that: fibroid tumors can cause all the above. A fibroid tumor is like a permanently open tap on a keg; it never shuts off. And they won’t necessarily show up on tests, either; I took the test specifically designed to find them, and it came back negative. It came back negative the week after the emergency hysterectomy where they discovered, count ’em, three busy, happy fibroid tumors – one inside, one outside, and one buried in the walls, of the uterus.
Also be advised that: if you are black, doctors are much more likely to figure out what’s wrong with you than if you are white (or Asian, etc.) Apparently fibroid tumors are significantly frequent amongst African American women (who have reason to complain that, too often, hysterectomies are the first line of treatment, and not the last). My own boss at the time, who was black, was astonished twice – first, that that was the problem, and then that she hadn’t even thought of fibroids as a possibility; she said had I been black, it would have been the first thing
… that occurred to her, based on the symptoms. (Sorry about the bizarro accidental post there.)
*And that year and a half bleeding? That wasn’t a year and a half of having my period once a month; that was … a year and a half of bleeding. Not a good thing.
So if you wind up with anything resembling the above, get thee to the doctor’s – or the hospital, if necessary. Don’t wait until you’re seven pints down. If I hadn’t gone to the hospital when I did, I wouldn’t be posting now. The nurse actually said, cheerily, that I was the first person she’d seen who’d lost that much blood and lived.
Oooo, and there’s a moral, as well as a cautionary tale! It is better to have it, than to want it; but it’s possible to have too much of a good thing …
I don’t hate my periods.
I think I have it easy – in terms of little cramping, light flow, etc. It’s so easy that I don’t really even think about it all that much amd just do the old standby of tampons. Excluding thiny liners used on days when I know I’ll start soon but haven’t or last days that are too light for tampons, I’ve havne’t bought a pad in at least 17 years. I’ve considered the Keeper, but I really do have little hands and short fingers, so it – along with VCF, foams, rings, suppositories, etcs – is actually kinda difficult for me. Doctors’ instructions don’t seem to be all that helpful, although I’ve never had a GYN I liked.
Well, thank goodness. I was starting to feel abnormal.
Of course, I’ve been perimenopausal for 6 years and counting now, and every twinge and pain I didn’t experience all along has appeared to distress me, in addition to all the usual perimenopausal stuff. It’s payback, I’m sure.
I think I have it pretty easy, too. When I had my long bout of undiagnosed thyroid problems, that was a different story – nausea, hot and cold flashes, dizziness, and a lot of pain. There were days when I just stayed in bed. What I get now is a breeze compared to that.
I went from years of not usually even having so much as a single cramp most of the time, nor any other symptoms, to having every symptom in the book and it’s just grown more hellish ever since. It started shortly after I turned 30 and – with the exception of the few months I was on the Depo shot and about a year afterwards – it’s just gotten worse and worse.
I have figured it’s probably payback for the nearly 20 years I went with zero problems at all.
La BellaDonna, are you me?
With a lot more coolth, of course.
By the way, I’m going to bookmark this for Baby Fishmouth to read when she turns 10 and starts off on the path down That Aisle herself. Be proud of who and what you are and what you can do, but don’t take no suffering crap from nobody. Including your own uterus.
she turns 10
TEN?!?!
Try eight.
Unless she doesn’t eat beef engineered with BGH.
/conspiracy theory
Grandfille, let me be the first to say I have no coolth whatsoever. It’s very liberating.
It is possible, however, that through the vagaries of a whimsical universe, we were joined at the uterus.
Before they exploded, of course.
I’m SO late to the conversation but I enjoyed reading everyone’s comments!
At this point in my life I cannot complain about my period except to say that it’s annoying having one when I’m fairly certain no more children will be coming from my womb (my husband had the snip-snip after our second was born).
I find it quite interesting the way my periods have evolved over time. When I started having periods (I was eleven) they were quite painful. It got to the point that in high school and college, I would skip school/classes on the first day of my period because I was in so much pain.
After my first child, my uterine cramps were not nearly as bad but I was having back cramps. I was told that my epidural was the cause of that.
Between #1 and #2 my periods were so erratic that it took a long time to get pregnant again. (There’s 4 1/2 years between my kids.)
Around two years after my the birth of my second child, my periods finally evened out. I have one day of a fairly heavy flow, several days of light flow and NO cramps. HOWEVER, my PMS is AWFUL!!! My poor family…I think I need to talk to my Gyn about it.
(I highly endorse Always thin pads with wings!)
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