An actual email I just received from my mom:
Hi
I was just procrastinating on my homework and clicked on weatherbug..(my obsession with the weather) and discovered that they have the traffic cams for Nashville and elsewhere. ta da!!.. now I can track you all over town. so if you think someone is watching you, they are and it might be your own dear mother. HELP. I need to find a life. QUICK !!
Love you
MOM
p.s.
It does not look like Illinois is hooked into the system yet.. ha
It’s probably not that funny, but to me? God, I love that woman.
Tiny Cat Pants 
My mom signs all her emails MOM, too. Like she’s yelling it.
*laughs* My mom signs hers “Mom, [hername],” like maybe we wouldn’t all know who she was.
But it’s cute that your mom is watchin’ you. Silly, but cute.
lololol…Brittney, my mom does too, as well as when she comments on my blog.
Your mom cracks me up. I wish we’d have a new email from your mom and a new music video of your dad every week.
Does she send The Butcher similar e-mails?