Apr 13

Women and More Women

Via Sean Braisted, news that women may soon be able to produce our own sperm and thus have our own baby women amongst ourselves.

My first thought, is, of course, that finally, I can have Brittney’s babies, which will be chalk full of curly-headed wonder, big tits, and internet snark galore.

I don’t know.  It’s weird, but there’s something cool about looking out across the whole wide ocean of humanity and thinking–“I could have kids with any of you.”

60 thoughts on “Women and More Women”

  3. oh wow! If I still had my girl parts, I would take advantage of this in a heartbeat!

    My baby would have your brilliance, Brittney’s boobs, newscoma’s hair (because it matches mine), Lynnster’s smarts, Kate O’s sense of style, Rachel’s vast knowledge of the female plight, Ivy’s spunk and musical ablity (BAH!), Malia’s eyes, KC’s sense & sensiblities, and every other one of y’all’s beauty both inside and out.

    Now, which one of you would I sleep with in order to conceive this wonder child? …. hmmmmm…

  4. But see, Ginger, here’s the genius! You don’t need to have girl parts. You’d just have them make you up some Ginger sperm out of your bone marrow. You just need to figure out who you’re going to knock up.

  5. Wait. Does that mean there will be no sex necessary? That would take all of the fun out of it, wouldn’t it?

    (See why Mack calls me a Tart?) lolololol

  8. Well, you could still sleep with all of us. If anyone wants to shoot video, we could probably all retire immediately off the NIT black market video profits…

  11. Mag, we would have adorable kids! And they’d have the most infectious smiles. But long-winded, boy, would they be long-winded.

    I could just see when little B’niloquence came in to tell on her sister Marigold.

    “Mothers, as I rapidly approach the third anniversary of my birth, I, by virtue of my growing, must have more room on the couch than I’ve taken up previously. Marigold, however, is waging some kind of war by attrition, spreading her tools of cultural hegemony onto space clearly and previously delineated as mine, thus making it very difficult for me to concentrate on Dora the Explorer.”

    Me: Wha?

    You: I’ve got it, B. Mari! Pick up your Barbies!

  18. Cool…. Babies with my big ole’ sprout of hair.
    Umm, will I offend the Mommy Bloggers is I say my hands are already full chasing Mabel around.
    World Domination, indeed, Missus Brittney.
    Hee.

  20. Ha, I had this image of the Squirrel Queen chasing Mabel around and trying to get you to go to the hospital. Which, really, if you’re going to do it, do it soon so that you can still get over here next weekend.

  21. #

    There is something profound afoot in this thread, but my brain (sic) is still preoccupied with “big tits.”

    Comment by Church Secretary — April 13, 2007 @ 1:50 pm

    Yea? Well I was doin fine thinkin about Brittney and B until Sean B. ruined it all with the fuckin “turkey baster” remark. Sigh, flaccid again. (Thats gonna freak The Lynnster out) :p

  22. Hey, now, I’d like to think that, even when Brittney and I pull out the turkey baster, it will still be hot enough to keep you engaged. Perhaps your fantasy B&Bs are not as resourcefully sexy as the real ones. I beg you to reconsider.

  25. Again with the hey, now! There will be no noises like the thought of a man getting aroused at the thought of me having sex is gross. That is NOT gross. That’s a reaction to be encouraged. All men should have that response–though, maybe not share it with the world.

  29. Sigh, flaccid again. (Thats gonna freak The Lynnster out)

    Pshaw. Didn’t you read B’s post? Your penis is now off topic in the grand scheme of things. Possibly forever! :D

  30. It was the arousal that I was ewing about

    I meant that it wasn’t the arousal I was ewing about…

    See the thought of having sex with you guys is getting me all flustered.

  34. *snickers* I’d totally see that show!

    And:

    Mag, we would have adorable kids! And they’d have the most infectious smiles. But long-winded, boy, would they be long-winded.

    I could just see when little B’niloquence came in to tell on her sister Marigold.

    “Mothers, as I rapidly approach the third anniversary of my birth, I, by virtue of my growing, must have more room on the couch than I’ve taken up previously. Marigold, however, is waging some kind of war by attrition, spreading her tools of cultural hegemony onto space clearly and previously delineated as mine, thus making it very difficult for me to concentrate on Dora the Explorer.”

    Me: Wha?

    You: I’ve got it, B. Mari! Pick up your Barbies!

    Ha! I love it! It’s sooooooo true.

    Of course, two hours and three different conversations later, the Barbies would still be on the floor, B’niloquence would have wandered off to complain to Unca’ Mack that she was thirsty and could he please build her a couch so she didn’t have to share?, and you would have been waylaid by three passing men and two women, for smoochies.

    I would probably still be talking. Perhaps drawing diagrams on the nearby chalkboard, or trying to figure out if I could use PowerPoint in a family discussion without being trite.

  35. KC: heeeeyyy… lololol
    If I meant to say I was ewwwing Mack’s arousal instead of his flacidity, what exactly does that mean?

    :-O

  36. Can I just say that this is the best conversation EVER?! Lots of smooches, one formerly hard penis, adorable children, female blogger to blogger sex, boobs, Mack building furniture. What’s not to love?

  37. If I meant to say I was ewwwing Mack’s arousal instead of his flacidity, what exactly does that mean?

    It means he must definitely have a cigar instead of a cigarillo. Or more than a handful is a waste. Or whatever else they say to mean that the guy has quite an extended reach.

    one formerly hard penis

    Thank you for avoiding The F Word.

  38. Or whatever else they say to mean that the guy has quite an extended reach.

    Please continue to spread that rumour….

  40. And I hope the women of this thread can now understand the vital importance of the bowl of condoms at next week’s get-together, even with Mack being the only man in attendance.

  41. It means he must definitely have a cigar instead of a cigarillo.

    Why are thoughts of Bill Clinton suddenly coming to mind…

    Along those lines, you know what they say…it isn’t how large the, uh, cigar is…it’s what you do with it that counts…

    As long as it isn’t, uh, … that “f” word …

  43. ” whatever else they say to mean that the guy has quite an extended reach.”

    Chris Evert used to use a coke bottle and a straw to demonstrate the respective endowments of Jimmy Connors and Vitas Gerulaitis.

    Of all the days for me to have collapsed with sinus trouble and gone home to sleep … I can’t believe I didn’t get to be in the middle of this discussion.

  44. Oh, and Mack, I apologize for forgetting that you were going to be at the orgy. I was … yeah, that’s it, I was being genderblind.

  49. Well, Church Secretary, I can tell you that after living in the sin capital of the U.S., (Las vegas) nashville seems more than a bit tame. Ok, truthfully, after living in Tulsa it seems a bit tame.

  54. You kids, you just don’t know your Latin. That’s carpe bloggeram. Or carpe bloggeraram, depending on numbers.

  58. Sheesh. And not one of us is a “Surprise Party” lady or the like? How is this possible?

    I was gonna be, but they wanted too much of an initial outlay. And besides, once I had all those sex toys in my own house I was afraid it would be like the times I sold candy for school.

    You know, off load a couple of the boxes on grandma and then burn thru the rest on my own.

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