I skipped out on both things I was planning on doing this evening. I didn’t go down and help Planned Parenthood piss and moan over the SCOTUS ruling and I didn’t go over to the women from work group.
Instead, I stayed at home and crocheted two feet and I’m going to finish this post and go to bed.
I didn’t go down to the Planned Parenthood thing basically because I just can’t bear it. I’m pissed that we lost this battle. Come the fuck on!
How hard is it to say, “This is a very rare procedure used only in the most tragic of circumstances where women end pregnancies they want very much. As gruesome as this procedure seems, it is very safe for the woman and allows families a body to mourn over. People who oppose this procedure, though well-meaning, are making the loss of a wanted child even more difficult.” But we blew it.
Fine. I can live with that.
It’s harder for me to live with Kennedy’s decision and I am furious and embarrassed for the people of this land who claim to love women who can sit by and just shrug their shoulders while Kennedy recodifies into Supreme Court opinion the idea that women’s minds are too changeable for us to be allowed to make decisions about ourselves.
That’s going to be a fun bit of language for us to have to fight from here on out.
I didn’t go have dinner with the women from work either, just because I’m feeling a little futile today.
I could be wrong.
Most days I feel like we’re so close, that if we can just get everyone to understand and agree that we have the right to decide what happens to our body, we can finish up this battle for equality.
And other days, I hear about a woman who’s my age, with five kids, who can’t afford daycare and so she stays at home while her husband works and he beats her but she won’t leave him because she’s Catholic and she’s scared to death of getting pregnant again, but she can’t control that with any certainty, and I just think there’s so much to be done and the doing of it is overwhelming.
It scares me, but I don’t see any other way but to continue. Maybe what we’re doing isn’t enough. Maybe it’s never enough and never going to be enough, but we’ve got to keep doing it anyway.
Just because the alternative is so much worse.