Even You Can Help Make the World Safe for Young Feminists

So, tonight we went over the tentative schedule for Act Like a GRRRL!, discussed the amazing things our cooters can do when in the mood, and ate ice cream sandwiches.

I just want to state for the record that, even though my sexual repertoire consists mostly of trying not to choke to death on my own self and trying to refrain from calling up various folks and announcing “I’m having sex, right now.  Yes, with someone else!” I had intelligent things to say both about the G-spot and female ejaculation. 

So, that was nice.

Anyway, we’ve decided to put together a cook book of simple but yummy recipes and that’s where y’all come in.

Give me your greatest easy to whoop up dish that a teenager with little experience in the kitchen could manage.  And I will collect them and put them in a little handy booklet for the girls in Act Like a GRRRL!

If any of you have any questions about female ejaculate or your G-Spot, I guess we could try to cover that as well.

Ha, no, really, it hurts when I laugh, but damn the thought of a long discussion about food and sex just makes me happy.

Here, I’ll ask a question to get us started.  Ice cubes on your cooterial region.  Whose bad idea was that?  Or, maybe more appropriately, what am I doing wrong?  It seems like it should be all erotic and fun, what with the cold and the hard and the messing around down there, but I find it kind of painful and then you’re numb and then what’s the point?

28 thoughts on “Even You Can Help Make the World Safe for Young Feminists

  1. Oh, good point, Coble. No, let’s keep the recipes free from female ejaculate.

    Jebbo, I don’t follow. Am I supposed to put the ice cube in hot tea with milk or put hot tea with a little milk on my cooter? Am I standing on my head when I do this? Or is hot tea with milk your simple recipe?

    Maybe we need to separate these topics.

  2. My daughter who now reads your blog, just had a few questions for me, B. Perhaps the most difficult to answer was…Daddy, whats a casserolen?

  3. Milk goes in hot tea.
    [Recipe: in black tea – not white or herbal – which if British (not NC Twinings) has brewed for only a few seconds]
    Tea goes in mouth.
    Mouth goes, well, wherever two consenting adults choose.
    Ice cubes go in the freezer.

  4. I think she spent all night with a mirror trying to locate her casserolen. I told her to check around the “taint” area, then call B.

  5. Ice cubes? Mildly erotic on a hot day, but unless one is really into contrast and it’s followed up by Jebbo’s hot tea treatment, not so great due to the numbness, etc. I guess if applied to a penis as a means to slow a feller down, it might work…but I would think that would also be sort of uncomfortable.

    I don’t think you’re doing anything incorrectly. I think it just means that you aren’t into ritual pain as a part of sex.

    Women don’t typically get casserolen until they are in their 30s, Mack.

  6. Mack, don’t you have a nurse or two up there in the compound? I’d think one or two of them could explain to a young girl on the verge of young womanhood the joys of spending an evening with a mirror and a limber body.

  7. I had my casserolen removed, and my sex life has been amazing since…so I find it isn’t all that necessary.

    As for ice cubes, I prefer to feel everything, so numbness isn’t the way I roll.

  8. Okay, then, I will make it my goal to distill “Our Bodies, Our Selves” down to an age appropriate level for your daughter and deliver it to her via charades. That will be good fun.

  9. *laughs*

    I don’t cook much from recipies, but if I think of something, I’ll send it your way.

    Re: ice cubes. I don’t do cold. Ever. Bite me, spank me, tie me up, but if anything cold touches me, it will be the warmest thing in your sex life for a very long time.

    Ahem.

    Yeah, I don’t even like ice in my soda, most times.

  10. If the ice cube is in the mouth of the person going down on me, then it’s nice. Quite nice. It becomes a nice mixture of warm and cold. By themselves, neh.

    As for a recipe:

    Take however many scallops you want and lightly sautee them in olive oil, a pinch of basil and a pinch of oregano for a few minutes. Pour some port or red wine over the mixture until it half way covers the scallops. Cover and cook until done, stirring occasionally. Yummy.

  11. 16 oz. heavy whipping cream
    2 medium or 1 large onion, small dice
    6 garlic cloves, pressed (Zyliss, of course)
    Fresh basil, oregano, and rosemary all chopped finely (lots of it – ’bout enough to cover half the 16 oz. of cream)
    8 oz. roasted red peppers, fine dice (if you cheat pour out the olive oil they’re in first)
    Salt and pepper to taste

    Your preference of pasta cooked al dente. Your preference of meat (chicken, beef, or not) sliced or diced to accompany the size of pasta.

    If you need to ask in what order to cook these things, it’s best you stick to microwaving ramen noodles.

    I’d like to submit my grandmother’s fantastic BBQ (brown sauce, she called it) but it’s a bit of a family secret. Sorry about that, but at least I’m trying to stay on the cooking topic part of this thread. All the cooter talk distracted me into thinking about, you know, dining…

  12. De-lurking with a great recipe. Simple and tastes great!

    Artichoke Dip

    — 2 cans artichoke hearts (drain, then chop these roughly)
    — 1 jar pimientos (drain) OR, chop up a red bell pepper instead
    – a handful of mushrooms, chopped into small pieces (canned mushrooms work, too, but drain ’em)
    — 1 medium sized block of Monterey Jack cheese, grated
    — Enough mayonnaise to make all of this gooey and good

    Mix. Put in the oven at 350 long enough to melt the cheese.

    This stuff is awesome. Variations are easy – have fun!

  13. Well, damn, I caught B.’s cold, and the comments on this thread have set off the mother of all coughing fits. I did manage not to spray water on the keyboard.

    Not surprisingly, the only recipe currently springing to mind is:

    Take a ceramic round-bottomed bowl
    Add 1.5 cups chocolate chips (your choice on milk, semi-sweet, whatever)
    Add 1 tbsp. shortening
    Microwave 60 seconds on high
    Stir, microwave in addtional 30-second increments with stirring in between until all smooth and runny
    Dunk carefully dried strawberries into chocolate and place on waxed paper
    Chill strawberries for 2 hours while using your imagination about what do to with the rest of the melted chocolate

    If you ever get around to remembering there are chocolate strawberries in the fridge, eat them.

  14. Okay, Anything for a Grrl.
    **shit, I’m really bad at recipes**
    Sausage Pastry Rolls
    Ingredients:
    One roll of sausage.
    Two blocks of cream cheese
    Two tubes of crescent rolls.
    Poppy Seeds to Sprinkle

    Cook Sausage in skillet while chopping it up in the pan. YOu want it to be crumbly. After sausage is cooked, add One full block of Cream Cheese, and then a about half of the other.
    While this mixture is cooking, take a flat cookie pan and spread the crescent rolls out. It should appear flat.Spray a bit of Pam (or whatever) on the bottom of the pan so the rolls won’t stick.

    Get your hiney back over to the skillet and make sure that the cream cheese and the sausage is blended. it should be a big gooey mess and then, and only then, will you know it’s done.
    Take some sort of cooking utensil that you find groovy and cool and spread the hot mixture on to the two flattened crescent rolls. Make sure it’s very even and not all buckled up.
    After your done with this and your staring at an empty skillet that you have to wash that will envelope with a sense of the blahs because you have to clean it, go and look at your crescent rolls with the mixture on top.

    Carefully roll it into a wheel (the reason the mixture has to be even.)

    Sprinkle with Poppy Seeds if you want to go all fancy.

    Put in the oven by following the directions on your crescent roll package until this big gooey mess is golden brown.

    Take it out. Let it cool for about 15 minutes and slice into little pinwheel rolls.

    Eat it and then take a Tums about two hours later.

    Racheal Ray, I ain’t but here you go. Good luck with this project.

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