–Last night the Butcher told his friends, “We’re totally being liveblogged right now.” I said, “No you’re not. You’re not doing anything interesting enough for me to blog about.” And then I felt immediately bad as they all looked a little hurt and insulted. But who can blog about a PS2 football game and make it seem interesting? Not me.
–The Redheaded kid has a tattoo on his forearm of a cross that is so good I keep wanting to take soap and water to it, because it looks totally fake.
–I’m trying to make vacation plans with my parents, which means that I talk to my mom about something and then have to call my dad and see how it was conveyed to him, since my mom has a tendency to make things more interesting than they actually are. So, I was all like, “I was afraid she might have told you that you all had to stay out at a hippie commune with me and my seventeen lovers.”
And my dad was all, “Well, now, you know I wouldn’t mind that at all.”
Which just goes to show, young single women, that no matter how uptight your parents were when you were growing up, at some point, they’ll accept lesbianism, hippie commune polyamory, or whatever, so long as they can rest assured that someone, somewhere is taking care of you and, thus, by extension, might spoil them a little.