Why You Should Buy Me a Drink Tonight

1.  I’m running late to my own party and am about to have a heart attack because of it.

2.  The building where my car was parked was not unlocked after the thing today you fucking liar, liar, pants on fire and I had to haul all my boxes around the side of the building and my back hurts.

3.  Because nobody bought me a drink on my birthday.

4.  Because I have twelve dollars and I might need that for gas.

5.  Because I asked him for water and he gave me gasoline.  Ha, no not really.  That, obviously, would have solved number 4.

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