My Parents are Here!

My dad says, “I bet your readers will be happy.  I bet things are pretty boring around Tiny Cat Pants when you don’t have your parents to talk about.”

Don’t I wish, Dad.  Don’t I wish.

People I Don’t Understand

1.  People who eat half a cookie and stick the other half back out on the table, as if one of their co-workers might want half a cookie.  No, if we wanted half a cookie, we would take the whole cookie, break it in half and save the other half to eat another day.

2.  Grown people who huff and sigh when behind small children in line.  First, lady huffing and sighing at lunch, you cut in front of me.  Second, the little girl was two.  Two year olds can handle one task at a time.  She was handling the “hold these cups” task, not the “pay attention to the passive aggressive line jumper behind you” task.

3.  I got nothing else.  It just seems like a list has to have three items in it or it’s not a list.

Why Aren’t You Reading Trashley?

My blog crush on Trashley is so enormous that I must point out that, if you are not reading her, you probably have a baby-sized penis.  Think about that.  No one has use for a baby-sized penis.  If I were to look in my underwear and see a baby-sized penis, my first thought would be, “Damn it.”

Now, in all fairness, my second thought would be, “What can I pee on first?” But I would just be making lemonade out of lemons.

See here for a hilarious “Trashley Illustrates a Current Event.”

But more importantly, is John Donne hot?

I’m going to vote for “yes” because I think that even in that picture he’s kind of attractive and there’s much about that painting that, to me, suggests he’s been done wrong by the painter.  Are we really supposed to believe that John Donne had eyes that stared off in two different directions AND a mouth that was not centered on his face AND a that-little-dent-between-your-mouth-and-nose-where-your-moustache-comes-together that is so off-kilter it lines up with neither his nose nor mouth AND dainty skeleton hands?

No, this is not a painting, this is a smear job.  I hope Donne took the painter out back and beat him after this.

So, I say, yes, Donne was hot and this painter petty.