My blog crush on Trashley is so enormous that I must point out that, if you are not reading her, you probably have a baby-sized penis. Think about that. No one has use for a baby-sized penis. If I were to look in my underwear and see a baby-sized penis, my first thought would be, “Damn it.”
Now, in all fairness, my second thought would be, “What can I pee on first?” But I would just be making lemonade out of lemons.
See here for a hilarious “Trashley Illustrates a Current Event.”
But more importantly, is John Donne hot?
I’m going to vote for “yes” because I think that even in that picture he’s kind of attractive and there’s much about that painting that, to me, suggests he’s been done wrong by the painter. Are we really supposed to believe that John Donne had eyes that stared off in two different directions AND a mouth that was not centered on his face AND a that-little-dent-between-your-mouth-and-nose-where-your-moustache-comes-together that is so off-kilter it lines up with neither his nose nor mouth AND dainty skeleton hands?
No, this is not a painting, this is a smear job. I hope Donne took the painter out back and beat him after this.
So, I say, yes, Donne was hot and this painter petty.