Why Aren’t You Reading Trashley?

My blog crush on Trashley is so enormous that I must point out that, if you are not reading her, you probably have a baby-sized penis.  Think about that.  No one has use for a baby-sized penis.  If I were to look in my underwear and see a baby-sized penis, my first thought would be, “Damn it.”

Now, in all fairness, my second thought would be, “What can I pee on first?” But I would just be making lemonade out of lemons.

See here for a hilarious “Trashley Illustrates a Current Event.”

But more importantly, is John Donne hot?

I’m going to vote for “yes” because I think that even in that picture he’s kind of attractive and there’s much about that painting that, to me, suggests he’s been done wrong by the painter.  Are we really supposed to believe that John Donne had eyes that stared off in two different directions AND a mouth that was not centered on his face AND a that-little-dent-between-your-mouth-and-nose-where-your-moustache-comes-together that is so off-kilter it lines up with neither his nose nor mouth AND dainty skeleton hands?

No, this is not a painting, this is a smear job.  I hope Donne took the painter out back and beat him after this.

So, I say, yes, Donne was hot and this painter petty.

12 thoughts on “Why Aren’t You Reading Trashley?

  1. Fuck. I’ve got to get to work now, but that picture of the women biting into that sandwich will haunt me all day.

    Yea, he’s hot, whatever.

  2. Well, that picture makes him look like an emo boy, and lots of emo girls seem to find that look totally hot. But based on his poetry, I’d say he was probably hot, yes.

  3. Well, that picture makes him look like an emo boy, and lots of emo girls seem to find that look totally hot. But based on his poetry, I’d say he was probably hot, yes

    Oh, wouldn’t it be wonderful if Hot Topic started replacing all of their fishnets and bondage pants with big feathered caps and bucket-top boots??

  4. Yes, he is. He looks like a nice man, which is always appealing to me. (Isn’t that silly?)

    But then I find Stephen Fry hot, too, and he don’t even like my kind. So don’t go by me.

  5. stephen fry, yes.

    and once you get that eeiny weenie you’d have to come north in the winter, aunt b, so you can write your name in the snow.

  6. Yes, thanks for the blog that’s “Made of Trash”! Good eye magniloquence. I think I’ll go out and wash my car now …

Comments are closed.